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Chapter 112.1 The truth about the amnesia (one)
“You don’t want me anymore.” Jiang Xu asked him in a daze, “You’re abandoning me too?”
When Lin An Lan, who had lost his memory, told him that he would never see him again, Jiang Xu had been scared but knew that this wasn’t the last impasse, because Lin An Lan didn’t have the memories of their so many years of friendship, so when he remembered, he could still go back to Lin An Lan again.
But now, Lin An Lan, who had recovered his memories had given him the final verdict, he had once again chosen to give up on him. Not able to accept it, Jiang Xu broke down as he looked at Lin An Lan, “No, no, Xiao Lan, you can’t leave me, you said you would always be with me. “
“But you’re not the same person you were back then.” Lin An Lan said calmly, “I didn’t know you would become like this, so it doesn’t count anymore.”
“I can change, why won’t you let me?” Walking up to him, Jiang Xu squeezed his shoulder, “I was wrong just this once. Why, why won’t you give me a chance to correct it?”
“Just this once?” Lin An Lan asked him, “What about you meeting Cheng Feng behind my back?”
“I can change that. Xiao Lan, I can change that, so can you give me a chance, just once, please? You’re all I have, you’re all I have!”
Seeing his expression that looked as if he was about to cry, it was if Lin An Lan had seen the young Jiang Xu once again, the previous him.
He remembered when he had just come to the Lin family. He had been without friends, and it was Jiang Xu who had run up and down to play with him, making friends with him.
He also remembered that during the period between Mother Lin’s serious illness and her death, it was Jiang Xu who had stayed with him, comforted him and encouraged him.
He also remembered the two months after his father died. Jiang Xu had put off all his work and stayed by his side, afraid that he would be sad.
They had also been very close once, saying they would always be there for each other, always be by each other’s side, and yet, it had come to this.
Sighing, Lin An Lan said, “It’s not necessary, it’s not as if we’re severing our friendship, we’re just going to get along like normal friends.”
Jiang Xu shook his head, “I don’t accept it. Xiao Lan, give me a chance, we can still be good friends, believe me.”
Lin An Lan wanted to believe him, but he couldn’t.
Many things couldn’t be dismissed as not having happened just because they had been changed. He had once said that to him, wished he’d do that and even thought he’d actually do it, so even if he changed, the words he had said and the deeds he had done wouldn’t go away. He would still remember them, and the words would still be stuck in his heart like a thorn.
He was destined to not believe in him as he had done before.
“That’s it.” Lin An Lan whispered, “Go back, I’m tired, I want to rest.”
But Jiang Xu didn’t want to go. Looking at Lin An Lan, he said sadly, “Xiao Lan, you can’t do this. After all these years of friendship between us, how can you just give up?”
Lin An Lan laughed helplessly, “If it wasn’t for the fact that there are many years of friendship between us, I wouldn’t be saying right now that we can still be normal friends and that we can still say hello when we see each other, but that I won’t care about you anymore and that you should just ignore me when you see me in the future.”
“Jiang Xu, you can’t expect to say something like that and still think I’ll treat you the same, or do you think that it’s nothing? Could it be that even up till now, you still think that it’s nothing at all?”
“No.” Jiang Xu shook his head, but couldn’t continue.
Lin An Lan said softly, “Go back, it’s late, you should rest too.”
Jiang Xu didn’t want to leave, so standing quietly in place, he didn’t move.
“Go back.” Lin An Lan said again.
However, Jiang Xu still didn’t move.
Not saying another word, Lin An Lan stood up and went to his bedroom.
And closing the door, sat down on the bed and let out a long sigh.
He sat quietly for a long time, then heard the sound of rain coming from outside the window, drops of rain hitting the window and fogging it up with a layer of water.
Lin An Lan looked out the window, it was raining again. There wasn’t too much snow this year, but the rain was not too little.
As he listened to the rustling of the rain, it was as if he had been transported back to the time before he had lost his memory.
At the end of July, on the day of his father’s death, he went to pay his respects to his father then stayed at home, having put off many business activities.
It was the first anniversary of his father’s death, and as Lin An Lan looked at his empty home, he felt a sense of grief and confusion.
At that age, he had just graduated and was at the beginning of his career, but he had sent his last family member away, leaving him alone.
Lin An Lan was very sad. The two people he had loved most in his life were his adoptive parents, but they had left him one after another, and here he was lying in bed, feeling the terrible silence of his home.
That was why, he went to see Jiang Xu when he returned.
Jiang Xu hadn’t joined him to pay his respects to Father Lin this year because of filming, and had returned a week later than he did.
Jiang Xu’s birthday was in August, so Lin An Lan had prepared a present for him, a new watch from his favourite brand, then they celebrated a simple birthday together. Jiang Xu had made a wish and Lin An Lan had eaten the cake with him.
Lin An Lan didn’t go back home, instead he stayed at Jiang Xu’s house for a few days, and as they watched movies together and ate Lin An Lan thought to himself, Jiang Xu was all he had left. His parents were gone, and Jiang Xu was all he had left to walk with him through these long years of growing up.
He was the only person he could trust in the world.
He and Jiang Xu clinked glasses, drank wine and chatted.
If it hadn’t been for that night, then everything would have been the same. Jiang Xu would still be his best friend and they would have still trusted and relied on each other.
But Jiang Xu had just been drinking that night and just had to say those words.
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