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Cheng Yu looked at the ceiling, his mind a mess. His consciousness blurred by the wine he had drunk, he took out his phone, looked at Lin An Lan’s avatar and slowly, word by word, sent him a message.
[An An, I’m drunk. Can you come and pick me up?]
[I want to go home now. An An, I want to go home.]
He watched his cell phone in a daze, waiting quietly.
One minute, two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes, half an hour passed, and still no reply was seen on the WeChat page.
Lin An Lan refused to come and pick him up, he refused to take him home.
Cheng Yu closed his eyes, the pupils of his eyes sore.
He wasn’t the person Lin An Lan wanted to take home. He would brave the night and the cold in the early hours of the morning to take someone he cared about home, but it wasn’t him, it was never him.
Gripping his cell phone, Cheng Yu felt his consciousness fade.
He fell asleep, the alcohol giving him a short rest, a moment of peace.
Xie Hui sat on the sofa outside the door. In the second half of the night, he slept in a reclining position, but wasn’t able to sleep very well. He thought a lot in the darkness, but then felt as if it was useless to think so much.
He set his alarm clock and woke up again just after six o’clock.
Lin An Lan woke up before Cheng Yu did. When he was with Cheng Yu, he always woke up later than Cheng Yu, but now that he lived alone, probably because he went to bed earlier, he woke up earlier too.
He picked up his phone and realized that Cheng Yu had sent him a message.
He had sent the message after midnight, however at that time he had already gone to bed, so he didn’t see it.
Lin An Lan looked at it quietly then moved his fingers to reply, but just as he typed two words, he deleted them.
At this hour, he would have gone home and was probably already sober.
Lin An Lan hadn’t seen Cheng Yu drunk before as he was very controlled when it came to smoking and drinking. He didn’t smoke much, didn’t drink much and he had even quit smoking because he didn’t like it.
Now that he was drinking so much, Lin An Lan knew without guessing that it had to do with him.
Bending his knees, he rested his chin against them, his heart complicated and sad.
He wanted to take Cheng Yu home, to tell him not to drink so much, but he couldn’t.
If only he hadn’t caught Cheng Yu lying to him, if only Cheng Yu had never lied to him.
But if Cheng Yu hadn’t lied to him, then they wouldn’t be here now, would they?
He would have apologised politely and turned away after Cheng Yu said, ‘I’m not your boyfriend’.
He would have figured out the world on his own, instead of trusting and relying on Cheng Yu.
His love for Cheng Yu was based on Cheng Yu’s lies, on his sense of responsibility for the unfairness of his accidental amnesia to his boyfriend.
He had tried hard to love Cheng Yu and had tried hard to give Cheng Yu fairness and justice.
He hadn’t wanted the person he loved to be forced out of love because of his accident.
But now he realized that it had all been a lie, that the justice he had tried so hard to give Cheng Yu was a justice that didn’t exist.
Everything was fake, but the feelings were real.
He couldn’t go back to the way he had loved him before he lost his memory, nor could he love him as he had loved him without a care in the world.
He couldn’t take Cheng Yu home, at least not yet.
Lin An Lan sat on the bed, lost, quiet, silent.
After a long time, he rubbed his face hard, got out of bed and went to wash his face.
When Cheng Yu woke up, it was almost 12 o’clock and still having a bit of a headache, he pressed his temples and opened the door to walk out, only to hear Xie Hui ask him, “You’re awake?”
Unable to react for a moment, it took Cheng Yu a moment before he remembered that it was Hua Rong who had done this stupid thing.
“You can go now.” He said to Xie Hui.
Xie Hui had received a transfer of 100,000 from Hua Rong in the morning, accompanied by the words, “You were really able to stay the night– you’ve got some talent. If you can go home with him today, I’ll give you 200,000.”
Xie Hui felt that he wouldn’t get the 200,000, because Cheng Yu obviously didn’t feel whatever it was Hua Rong had wanted him to feel towards him. He had just taken pity on him, that was why he had reluctantly allowed him to stay last night.
He had been very resistant to him the whole time, refusing to even touch him, let alone go home.
“I’ll be off then, thank you for last night.”
Cheng Yu nodded, and only then did he take a good look at Xie Hui who, with his make-up off, did look a lot less like Lin An Lan and less of an eyesore to him.
Bowing, Xie Hui walked out, closing the door behind him.
Cheng Yu sent a message to Hua Rong: [Don’t let there be a next time.]
Looking at the message, Hua Rong ‘tsked’, saying with regret, “I thought that kid was something, but I guess I thought too much.”
Cheng Yu washed his face, brushed his teeth and walked out of the clubhouse.
Stopping a car at the door, he gave his address to go back to his house.
The moment he opened the door, Cheng Yu watched his home slowly open up in front of him, but he felt a coldness and depression that he had never felt before.
He walked in. The room was silent, and all traces of the real and lively life that had once existed seemed to have disappeared.
He stood there quietly. The place was obviously warm, but he couldn’t stop the cold.
It was so cold, he thought. How could this house be so cold?
Really, it was too cold.
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