Chapter 62.1
Lin An Lan shook his head and he said, “It’s not what you think, you’re not wrong and you’re not my enemy, it’s just that he’s my friend and therefore, I care more about his feelings.”
His voice was soft and helpless, “I’m not worth your insistence, I’m not averse to being friends with you if I can, but if I could, we’d have been friends a long time ago wouldn’t we? So don’t waste your time with me.”
“Is he that important? Do you care that much about his feelings?!”
Lin An Lan nodded, “He’s important, he’s more important than anyone other than my parents.”
Cheng Yu ran out of words instantly.
Lin An Lan sighed, “So, we are not destined to be friends.”
He gave Cheng Yu one last look and walked away from him.
When Lin An Lan woke up in the morning, he stared blankly at the ceiling for a while.
Cheng Yu was still sleeping. He picked up his phone that was next to his pillow and glanced at it to see that it was only six o’clock, not yet time for them to get up.
Lin An Lan put the phone back next to his pillow and turned his head to look at Cheng Yu seriously.
The current Cheng Yu was more mature than the Cheng Yu in the dream, and the youthful sharpness that he could barely conceal in his youth had now been curtailed.
He observed his eyebrows carefully and touched his lips, which were soft and perfect for a kiss with his finger.
Lin An Lan kissed him carefully, without waking him up, and looked at him tenderly.
It was so hard to believe that Cheng Yu would still like him after what he had said back then.
But he had obviously been mistaken at that time, hadn’t he? Cheng Yu had probably liked him at that time, and it should have been his love he wanted when he went to the trouble of approaching him.
It was just that he thought Cheng Yu just wanted to be friends with him.
So why did Jiang Xu hate Cheng Yu so much? Lin An Lan wondered.
If he hadn’t hated Cheng Yu so much, he and Cheng Yu could have been friends, right?
Lin An Lan sighed on a whisper. He could understand the him in the dream before he had lost his memory. He and Jiang Xu grew up together as good friends and Cheng Yu at that time wasn’t even friends with him, so it was normal that he was biased towards Jiang Xu.
And yet, he regretted it.
If it hadn’t been for Jiang Xu, Cheng Yu wouldn’t have had to wait for him for so many years.
Although they were now together, he had made Cheng Yu suffer.
“My pitiful little flower.” He kissed Cheng Yu’s lips again, “But you won’t suffer anymore.”
His expression was serious for a long moment, then he closed his eyes again and went back to sleep.
When Cheng Yu’s alarm clock went off, Lin An Lan opened his eyes again.
Cheng Yu, as always, comforted him, “It’s still early, you can sleep again, there’s no rush.”
Lin An Lan, however, didn’t quite want to sleep anymore. Sitting up, he chatted with Cheng Yu as he watched him change his clothes.
“Did you join a literature club in University?” He asked.
Cheng Yu looked up in surprise, not understanding why he was suddenly asking this question.
Lin An Lan smiled, “I dreamt about you last night, in the latter part of the night. It seemed to be about our University days. You joined the literature club and I quit, you were so angry that you stopped me to ask if you had offended me.”
Cheng Yu movements stopped instantly as he gazed at him without moving.
When Lin An Lan saw his reaction, he knew it was true.
“It’s true isn’t it? You’ve really joined the club?”
Cheng Yu couldn’t believe it. He had just been hoping last night that Lin An Lan would recover his memories slowly. Much much slowly, so that he would have more sweetness to cherish, but today, Lin An Lan had remembered what had happened in their university days.
He opened his mouth, barely able to get the words out, “Yes.”
Lin An Lan smiled with arched eyebrows, “I guessed it. It’s really not easy to be able to remember a bit of the old days.”
Cheng Yu couldn’t laugh as he looked at the smile on his face.
Noticing the silence and the unconscious sadness in his eyes, Lin An Lan asked him, “What’s wrong? Are you unhappy?”
But then he reacted quickly. How could Cheng Yu be happy when he quit after he joined the literature club and told him not to waste his time on him and said things like Jiang Xu was important?
“You’re right to be unhappy.” He opened his mouth early before Cheng Yu could open his mouth to deny it, “It really wasn’t a good memory. Back then, I was very biased where Jiang Xu was concerned.”
Cheng Yu didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say, his heart was all mixed up, so he could only nod in compliance, lowering his eyes to hide his emotions.
Lin An Lan felt bad seeing him like this, so he lifted the quilt and walked over to him.
“I’m sorry.” He cupped Cheng Yu’s face and said seriously, “But I’m not biased towards him now, I’m biased towards you, you’re more important, you’re much more important than Jiang Xu, so you’re the most important.”
Cheng Yu looked at the sincerity in his eyes and wrapped him in his arms without saying anything.
“You shouldn’t blame me either. Jiang Xu and I were friends at that time after all, and isn’t that how people are, helping their relatives without reason? If Hua Rong hated someone, you certainly wouldn’t be friends with him either right? Otherwise wouldn’t Hua Rong be very depressed.”
“I just don’t know why Jiang Xu hates you so much, it’s been so many years, why is he still like this?” Lin An Lan muttered in a small voice.
In the beginning, he actually hadn’t cared about this at all.
He didn’t have a very good impression when he first met Jiang Xu, didn’t understand why he had such a good friend, and didn’t really want to talk to him because Jiang Xu didn’t like Cheng Yu.
It was just that now, Jiang Xu was like a dog’s paw that he couldn’t shake off, and he had found out in dream after dream and in the words of others that Jiang Xu and he really were close, having grown up together as friends.
He still didn’t like Jiang Xu, but he couldn’t help but be curious as to why Jiang Xu hated Cheng Yu so much.
“Is there any grudge between the two of you?” Lin An Lan asked.
Cheng Yu was silent for a moment. He opened his mouth but closed it again.
Lin An Lan looked at the side of his face curiously, “Did the two of you get into a feud without realizing it? Or something else?”
“Do you want to help us dissolve it?” Cheng Yu asked him.
Lin An Lan nodded then shook his head again, “I’m just curious.”
He said, “By all rights we were all high school classmates, and classmates wouldn’t become enemies even if they don’t become good friends. Moreover the two of you have been going toe to toe for so many years, what was the feud that was worth him thinking about for so many years and still thinking about it to this day, bent on tearing us apart?”
“That’s why I want to know. If it’s a misunderstanding, we’ll resolve it and if it’s not a misunderstanding and can’t be resolved, then I’ll stand firmly behind you, don’t worry.”
Cheng Yu definitely believed him. It was just that the feud between him and Jiang Xu was too complicated to say the least.
He wasn’t sure if saying it at this point would trigger Lin An Lan’s memory switch, and even more so if, after he finished, Lin An Lan would suddenly realize that the script he had always thought Jiang Xu had made up for himself was, in fact, potentially real.
He couldn’t take that risk, nor did he dare to.
So he replied evasively, “It’s been too long ago, and I can’t remember now that you’re suddenly asking me. I just remember that he has always hated me after all these years and still does. Let me think about it, will you? When I remember, I’ll tell you.”
Lin An Lan didn’t rush him, “Okay.”
“But until I think of it, you can’t ask Jiang Xu, otherwise I’ll be wronged if he backtracks and blames me for the source of everything.”
“That’s for sure.”
Lin An Lan laughed, “Don’t worry, I won’t ask him. I’m thankful he doesn’t bother me, how would I bother reaching out to him?”
“Hmm.” Cheng Yu pinched his face and looked at him with a smile.
Putting on his clothes, he turned to go to the bathroom.
When he finished washing his face, Cheng Yu looked at himself in the mirror, his face pale.
“Your good days are numbered.” He whispered.
The person in the mirror was calm and resigned to his fate, but Cheng Yu didn’t want to be resigned to his fate. If in the whole world, he loved Lin An Lan the most, then why should he let Lin An Lan be with someone else?
He looked at himself in the mirror, his eyes dark and heavy.
However, after a moment of silence, Cheng Yu slowly raised his hand and covered the pair of eyes in the mirror.
Don’t try to force more than you already have, don’t try to hurt the one you love.
He hated his father for breaking his mother’s heart and for never doing his duty as a father.
So he didn’t want to become like him.
He didn’t want Lin An Lan to be depressed and sad because he was in pain, like his mother.
He had already forced his way into Lin An Lan’s love life once, so all the more reason why he couldn’t go and hurt him.
Removing his hand, he looked straight at himself in the mirror, slowly calming his mind.
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in every update i cry
thanks for the chapterrr