Chapter 12
The two of them washed in the bathroom for a long time, before they finally came out together.
To be precise, Cheng Yu carried Lin An Lan out.
Cheng Yu originally wanted to make love to Lin An Lan in the bathroom, but in the end, the atmosphere between them was too innocent, so they simply took a shower, changed into bathrobes and left.
Lin An Lan could clearly feel that Cheng Yu was in a good mood.
Thinking back to the night before, he realized that, while Cheng Yu had appeared to be happy at that time, he wasn’t as happy as he had appeared to be.
His boyfriend probably loved him too much, so he was often concerned about him and would not pass on his bad feelings to him.
This is probably a sign of a lack of security, Lin Anlan thought, so he should pay more attention to Cheng Yu in the future.
Cheng Yu had just finished blow-drying his hair and was about to go get a glass of water when his phone rang.
He picked it up, looked at it, took the phone and walked out, “I’m going to get some water and take a call.”
“Okay.” Lin An Lan answered.
After fetching the glass of water, Cheng Yu went to the study.
“What’s wrong?”
“Jiang Xu just called Mr. Lin, and besides that, he sent Mr. Lin two WeChats today, neither of which was successful.”
“What do you mean? He called Lin An Lan?”
“Yes, just now.”
“Just now?”
“Forty minutes ago.”
Cheng Yu’s heart instantly went cold, like a bucket of ice water coming down on him, pouring his heart out like death, almost senseless.
“How long did they talk?”
“About five or six minutes.”
Five or six minutes, 360 seconds, what were they talking about? How could they talk for so long?
Didn’t Lin An Lan have amnesia? How could he talk to him for so long? What was it about?
“Do you need me to retrieve the audio file for you?”
“No.” Cheng Yu said calmly, “There’s no need, and remember, never ask me such questions again and never give me such things.”
“Okay.”
“Even if I do ask you for it one day, don’t give it to me.”
“This…”
“Don’t give it to me.” Cheng Yu whispered, “This is his privacy, he won’t want others to know, knowing this now, is already overstepping the mark.”
“Okay.”
“I’m hanging up.”
“And,” the other party added, “if I’m right, Jiang Xu should already know that Mr. Lin is living with you.”
“I know.” Cheng Yu hung up the phone.
Looking up at the moon in the sky, he suddenly let out a helpless laugh.
He had just thought that Lin An Lan had suddenly come to his senses and was willing to act as Gu Shuyu because of his love for him, but now it seemed that perhaps it was Jiang Xu’s intention.
He’d had no desire to do it before, yet he suddenly rushed in and said he was willing, saying he wasn’t very rational, but it was probably because he had just received a call from Jiang Xu.
So was he really suffering from amnesia?
Cheng Yu felt himself get confused again.
He had previously thought that Lin An Lan had really lost his memory, because even if he was willing to sacrifice himself for Jiang Xu, he wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice his body and would have maintained a substantial relationship with him.
But now, he had doubts again.
If he really had amnesia, then what could they have said for five or six minutes?
And why would he change his mind because of a phone call from Jiang Xu?
Or was it that for Lin An Lan, even if he had amnesia, Jiang Xu was still special and he would give in for Jiang Xu, taking care of his every mood?
Cheng Yu felt that he couldn’t guess clearly. He was always the loser in the relationship between Lin An Lan and Jiang Xu, so he didn’t dare, nor did he know how to guess.
He only remembered that Lin An Lan had once told him clearly, “He is very important, he is more important than anyone else except my parents.”
This him, was Jiang Xu.
Cheng Yu took a sip of water and went to get his cigarettes.
But when he got it, he remembered that he had quit smoking, so he lit it up and placed it next to the ashtray instead of smoking it.
He watched the smoke rise and thought to himself, ‘Forget it, what’s the point of thinking about this? Lin An Lan’s willingness to play Gu Shuyu was good for him anyway, so whether it’s because of him or Jiang Xu, it didn’t matter.’
At least, the result was good.
He was so used to losing out to Jiang Xu in Lin An Lan’s relationship that he had learned not to embarrass himself.
This was how people were; they got used to losing more often than not.
As Cheng Yu was thinking, he suddenly heard a knock at the door, followed by the door being pushed open and Lin An Lan peeking in.
“Are you in trouble? Do you need help?”
Cheng Yu put the cigarette out quickly, not having expected him to come to his study.
Lin An Lan had already squeezed in through the door quietly, but he still asked him, “Can I come in?”
You’ve already come in, haven’t you? Cheng Yu thought to himself.
He waved him in, smiling at him.
Lin An Lan ran over to him, smelling smoke when he got close, “You were smoking?”
“No.” Cheng Yu said, “I was just smelling it, I didn’t smoke.”
“That’s not good either.”
“Okay, I’ll listen to you, I won’t smell it next time.” Cheng Yu said, “I’ll do as you say.”
Lin An Lan approached him, “Is there something wrong with your family? That night you suddenly answered the phone and it took a while before you came back, this time too, do you need my help?”
Cheng Yu looked at him, then suddenly reached out, took him onto his lap, made him sit on his side, and wrapped his arms around him.
“Baby, you want to help me?”
Lin An Lan nodded.
Cheng Yu smiled as he hugged him, “You’re willing to do anything?”
“Hmm.”
“Then stay by my side.” Cheng Yu said in a warm tone.
“I’m serious.” Lin An Lan said.
“I’m serious too.” Cheng Yu looked at him.
Lin An Lan pursed his lips in discontent, “Do you think I can’t help you, that’s why you won’t tell me what’s going on?”
“Of course not.” Cheng Yu touched his face, “I’m telling the truth, you staying by my side, is the biggest help to me.”
Lin An Lan was a little sad, he really wanted to help Cheng Yu, but it appeared that Cheng Yu didn’t need it.
Seeing the sadness on his face, Cheng Yu hugged him even tighter and asked softly, “Baby, do you not know the details of my family?”
Lin An Lan really didn’t know, so he shook his head.
Cheng Yu said slowly, “It’s not very good, that’s why I haven’t told you.”
“My parents had an arranged marriage. My father was an amorous man, and even after he was married he didn’t stop being amorous. He had many lovers, some of them followed him for a long time and became mistresses, some of them were unlucky enough to have children, thinking that they could marry him if they had children, but how could they, when he wasn’t the kind of person who cared about children? So those who insisted on having his children were abandoned.”
Lin An Lan froze.
Cheng Yu continued calmly, “My mother’s health wasn’t good and married to a man like my father, she could only become more and more exhausted; I’m guessing she liked my father, but nothing came out of it and my father probably loved her as well, but he also loved other women and not being able to get his whole heart, she gave up slowly. Later, as my mother got very ill and I was by her bedside, she would look at me and say sometimes, because I looked like my father, that when I grew up I would be a weak and affectionate person, but sometimes he, my father, thinking I looked like her would say that I was miserable and that no one would probably ever like me in my life.”
“And then, she left, and without her, my dad didn’t come back home much, so I lived with my grandparents for a while, and then moved to the school dormitory.”
Cheng Yu looked down at Lin An Lan, his tone calm as if he was telling someone else’s story: “An An, I’m not being perfunctory, I’m very serious. There aren’t many people who can stay by my side. Ever since I was a kid, I wasn’t afraid of any trouble, because as long as it was something, one would always be able to solve it. However if someone wants to leave you, you can’t keep them, whether it’s physically or mentally.”
“When I was a kid, I wanted to keep my mother, but I couldn’t physically; later, I wanted to keep my father, but I also wasn’t able to, in the psychological sense.”
“So, later on, I stopped trying to keep anyone, because you can’t, and it’s pointless to try.”
At this point, he suddenly paused. He had in fact forced one person to stay — Lin An Lan, he had used a lie, to keep him by his side.
He caressed his cheeks gently, his voice soft and sincere: “Baby, help me, stay with me, okay?”
Lin An Lan nodded, hugging him, “Hmm, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll stay here with you.”
He only knew that Cheng Yu and his parents weren’t close, but he had never expected that it would be like this.
“Your mother was wrong,” Lin An Lan said, “you’re not like your father nor are you like her, you’re not cold or unfeeling, you’re devoted, and you have people who like you.”
He looked up at Cheng Yu, saying seriously, “I like you.”
He moved closer and kissed him on the lips, “I really like you.”
Cheng Yu smiled all of a sudden, pressing him into his arms, “Hmm, I know.”
“What do you know?” Lin An Lan asked deliberately.
Cheng Yu laughed, hugging him, “I know that my baby likes me.”
He pressed his forehead against Lin An Lan’s, and said gently and dotingly, “He really, really likes me.”
T/N: I apologize for yesterday, there was a blackout. But I am giving yesterday and today’s chapters all at once.
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That “He really, really, really like me” hits me hard bro🥲 CHENG YU BABYYY😭
My stup*d @ss thinking I wont cry reading this 😭
Bro I can’t stop crying. I take a break whenever I read this so it wouldn’t hurt much but it still do 😭