No flower was ever going to belong completely to any one person; you could marvel at its beauty, but you couldn’t force it to bloom for you.
Cheng Yu had accepted this fact, so he had quietly and carefully, held his lotus flower.
But now, his lotus had blossomed for him.
He lived by his side, spent every sunrise and sunset with him, hugged and kissed him, and said he loved him.
This was a happiness he had never imagined, so Cheng Yu was content. He didn’t feel stupid, nor did he feel that Lin An Lan needed to feel guilty.
“It’s okay,” he kissed Lin An Lan’s forehead, “the time I liked you, I lived it to the fullest. I don’t feel foolish, nor do I think that you did anything wrong. That in itself was just my own wishful thinking, you didn’t make me wait, I wanted to wait, so I don’t feel aggrieved, and you shouldn’t feel aggrieved for me.”
How could Lin An Lan not feel aggrieved for him? He had waited for four days and had been in pain and felt that it was unbearable. He had desperately examined himself, constantly asking himself if it was because he wasn’t good enough, if it was because he wasn’t well behaved, that was why his mother didn’t want him.
And Cheng Yu had waited for so many years, how could he not feel aggrieved?
Lifting his head with heartache, he kissed Cheng Yu’s chin, then kissed his lips.
Cheng Yu met his lips, kissing him soothingly.
Lin An Lan’s heart softened yet was filled with sadness as he caressed the side of Cheng Yu’s face gently, his lips brushing against his as he kissed his lips over and over again then hugged him again.
Cheng Yu rubbed his back as he said to him, “It’s okay, really, I don’t feel aggrieved.”
Lin An Lan didn’t say anything, he just lay quietly on his shoulder.
The room was as silent as the surface of a stream, the two people inside the quilt hugging each other tightly, the atmosphere tender and sticky.
Lin An Lan opened his mouth slowly and said, “Little flower, thank you for waiting for me for so long.”
Thank you for always liking me, and still liking me even when I’ve forgotten everything.
At that moment, Cheng Yu’s whole heart quietened down.
He unconsciously wrapped his arms around Lin An Lan and lowered his head against his. His heart seemed to be soaked in hot water that rose to a feverish pitch, crowding his entire chest.
After all these years, no one had ever supported him, no one had ever thought he would get a response. Even he himself, in his heart, had acquiesced that this love would ultimately be fruitless.
Although he didn’t regret it, he didn’t have hope.
But today, Lin An Lan said to him – thank you for waiting for me for so long.
Even if this was all on top of falsehood, even if this sentence might be invalidated when Lin An Lan regained his memory, at this moment, Cheng Yu felt that everything was all worth it.
His waiting hadn’t been meaningless, his liking wasn’t an unnecessary existence. At the very least, Lin An Lan had now affirmed his liking and waiting.
He said huskily in the darkness, “You’re welcome. I like you and I’ll always be waiting for you.”
Even if Lin An Lan regained his memory, he would continue to love him.
As long as he didn’t fall in love and get married one day, he would persist in loving him.
And if he fell in love and got married, then he would bless him and wish him a happy love and a successful marriage.
Just like Jing Huan did to Gu Shuyu.
Lin An Lan shook his head in his arms and said with a hint of laughter in his tone, as if his mood had finally eased, “No need to wait for me, I’m already yours.”
“And what about in the future.”
“I will be yours in the future too.” Hugging him, Lin An Lan said coquettishly, “I have always been yours.”
“Of course it’s true.” Lin An Lan looked up at him, kissed him, then looked at him affectionately.
Hugging him even more tightly, Cheng Yu whispered, “En.”
He really liked the current Lin An Lan, liked this Lin An Lan who loved him and liked this current period of time. If possible, he really hoped that Lin An Lan wouldn’t recover his memory for the rest of his life, but, how could he really lie to him for the rest of his life?
He would one day recover his memory and would leave him, so Cheng Yu only hoped that he would recover his memory a little later so he could have more sweetness to cherish.
Stay with me a little longer An An, just a little longer. He kissed Lin An Lan’s forehead cherishingly and said to him, “Sleep, don’t be afraid, I will always be by your side.”
Lin An Lan closed his eyes, reassured and comfortable.
He dreamt of Cheng Yu in the latter part of the night, of the handsome and discontented eighteen-year-old Cheng Yu.
Wearing a black jacket with sharp eyebrows, he asked, “Have I offended you?”
Lin An Lan said calmly, “No.”
“Then why did you quit the literary club when I joined it?”
“It has nothing to do with you, I just don’t have that much time for myself.”
“How come you had it when I hadn’t yet joined?”
Cheng Yu took a step forward and stopped in front of him, “Do I annoy you that much?”
Helpless, Lin An Lan whispered, “It’s not because of you.”
“So why the preference to quit just after I joined?”
“Cheng Yu.” Lin An Lan looked him straight in the eyes, “I don’t hate you, but I won’t be friends with you either. It’s not about you, you’re good. It’s just that, between the two of us, it’s impossible to have a relationship beyond being classmates.”
“Because of Jiang Xu?”
“Because of me.” Lin An Lan said, “It’s part of my character.”
Cheng Yu was exasperated, “So I just deserve it? You feel sorry for Jiang Xu, you feel sorry for your best friend, so I’m wrong, I’m your common enemy is that it?”
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