However once Jiang Xu realized that Lin An Lan might really leave him, he wouldn’t be able to bear it and would try desperately to uncover his lies.
When a lie was told, there was always a loophole. Lin An Lan might not hesitate to believe him at first, but if Jiang Xu came at him again and again, Lin An Lan would be suspicious.
His good days were truly numbered.
Cheng Yu hugged Lin An Lan tightly and kissed him several times in the dark.
Then fell asleep in a state of worry and fear.
In his heart he was scared, scared and afraid.
He saw Lin An Lan in the endless darkness, and he scrambled after him, but couldn’t catch up.
He called out to him anxiously, “An An.”
Lin An Lan looked back at him, his eyebrows clear and cold, his eyes full of disgust as he asked, “Cheng Yu, when we established our relationship, was there a witness?”
“No.” Cheng Yu, fixed in place could only answer hoarsely.
“Then was there any physical evidence?”
“Then what proof do you have?”
Nothing, because it was originally a lie.
Lin An Lan laughed, “I tried to stop Jiang Xu from ruining your peaceful life, but what about you? Is this how you repay me? You’re really disgusting!”
Cheng Yu woke up immediately.
He sat up, his back covered in cold sweat.
He took two shaky, sharp breaths and, in the darkness, turned his head to look at Lin An Lan beside him.
He couldn’t see the look on Lin An Lan’s face, but he still felt guilty in his heart.
He couldn’t stop mumbling, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry …… “
But it was no use. He knew it was wrong, but he hadn’t stopped there, he had just kept on making mistakes.
Cheng Yu sat on the bed as the rain dripped outside the window, hitting the leaves and falling down the veins.
Getting out of bed, he walked to the living room.
He looked out of the window at the rain, which was so heavy that many of the branches and leaves on the trees were blown out of shape.
He wanted to smoke, but then remembered that he had stopped long ago. He had given up smoking for Lin An Lan, he hadn’t smoked for two or three months.
He had, by now, grown accustomed to life where he had Lin An Lan at his side.
He didn’t want Lin An Lan to leave.
He looked out of the window at the rain, standing quietly and alone.
As Lin An Lan leaned dazedly to the other side, he was vaguely aware that something was wrong. Opening his eyes, he found that Cheng Yu wasn’t beside him.
Has he gone to the bathroom? Lin An Lan thought to himself.
He closed his eyes and waited for Cheng Yu to return, but after waiting for some time, nothing happened.
Puzzled, Lin An Lan rubbed his eyelids and got out of bed.
When he reached the living room, Lin An Lan switched on the light and surprised for a moment, Cheng Yu who was standing in front of the window turned back to look at him.
“Why are you up?” Cheng Yu walked over.
“I should be asking you that question.” Lin An Lan said, “Why are you up and standing in front of the window?”
Cheng Yu laughed a little and lied to him, “I came out to get a glass of water and couldn’t sleep, so I stood in front of the window for a while.”
“Why can’t you sleep?”
“I had a bad dream.” Cheng Yu said, “I woke up after dreaming that you were gone.”
“Dreams are the opposite, it means we’ll always be together.” Lin An Lan reassured him.
Nodding, Cheng Yu walked with him towards the bedroom.
When they were back in bed, Lin An Lan asked him, “Are you still uneasy, afraid that Jiang Xu will know I’ve lost my memories and provoke us while I trust him?”
Cheng Yu just looked at him but didn’t deny it.
“Do you have such little faith in me?” Lin An Lan asked him.
Shaking his head, Cheng Yu told him, “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t trust all those years you and Jiang Xu spent together.”
“An An, I actually, quite like you the way you are now.” He said abruptly, “Without your past memories, you only have me in your heart and in your eyes, you have me in your every day and I’m the one who has been with you the longest, so I’m happy.”
“But the you who has all your memories has spent more than ten years with Jiang Xu, you have many secrets that I don’t know, and many once upon a times that I can’t fit in.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, I’m just scared.”
“I’m afraid that Jiang Xu would tell you all about the more than ten years you’ve shared and I’m afraid that I, alone, can not beat the more than ten years and thousands of days and nights of your friendship.”
Lin An Lan froze.
He could definitely sense that Cheng Yu was upset, otherwise he wouldn’t have had that dream.
He just hadn’t expected that Cheng Yu would think so much about it, that he would prefer his current amnesiac self.
“You don’t want me to regain my memories.”
Cheng Yu raised his hand to cover his eyes, not wanting him to see the greed in his own eyes.
“Yes.” He said, “I’m not as good as you think I am, I’m a lot more selfish than you think.”
“A lot, a lot more.”
He was essentially the same as Jiang Xu, selfish and greedy.
They had both inherited the selfishness from Cheng Feng and had, with bad manners put it on those they cared about most.
What was the difference between him and Jiang Xu?
They were all the same. They had both wronged Lin An Lan and they had both hurt him. They really deserved to be the sons of Cheng Feng who were born by different mothers.
The last people Lin An Lan should have met in his life were the two of them.
“An An, there’s one thing I want to tell you in advance.” He spoke softly, paving the way for a rainy day, “We were in a secret relationship, so when we started dating, no one knew about it and there is no written record of it. If Jiang Xu uses this to stir up feelings between us, you must not believe it.”
Lin An Lan nodded, “Okay.”
Cheng Yu removed his hand and smiled at him as he said, “Go to sleep.”
Lin An Lan looked at him but didn’t move.
“What’s wrong?” Cheng Yu was confused.
Lin An Lan reached out and hugged him. Hugging Cheng Yu, he said to him very gently, “I haven’t fully recovered my memories either, I just remembered a little bit, so don’t be afraid.”
“Besides, although Jiang Xu and I have a past friendship of more than ten years, we will have a future relationship of several decades, so no matter whether I recover my memories or not, you don’t have to worry because, the past has already happened, but the future, is what we have to cherish.”
Cupping Cheng Yu’s face in his hands, he gave him a kiss on the lips.
“Little flower, as the one with amnesia at this stage, I’m living a happy life because I’m with you, and even though I don’t remember everything, I feel relaxed and at ease. So, even if I recover my memories, you will be the most important person to me because I will never have such an experience a second time, and you, you are the only one who has been intimately involved in this period of my life.”
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