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Chapter 120.1 His heart couldn’t help but ache, so how could he blame him?
“I didn’t even look at him, let alone even pay attention to him. I’m not the kind of person who would look for a body double and besides, you’re unique, no one can be your body double.” Cheng Yu explained.
“I know.” Lin An Lan told him warmly, “That’s why I don’t mind.”
He turned his head to look at Cheng Yu, “Whether I mind or not doesn’t depend on Xie Hui or Hua Rong. If you had even a hint of affection for him, even just a little, then I would have minded it, but you don’t and I know you don’t, that’s why I don’t mind. “
“In other words, Hua Rong is your friend, and from his standpoint, he can be understood for doing this, but if you had taken the initiative to accept it, then I would have been angry and would have minded and if that had happened, I might not have been so rational as to understand you.”
“I won’t.” Cheng Yu said seriously, “I only like you and I don’t want to get involved with anyone else.”
“I know, that’s why I said I don’t mind.”
Smiling at him, Lin An Lan kissed him on the mouth, “It was very hard on you at that time, wasn’t it?”
“Because you were having a hard time, your friends who saw it couldn’t bear it and wanted you to forget me and to put an end to your feelings. It was already difficult for you and your friends must have also felt bad inside as well as they accompanied you through your time of loss, that’s why I don’t blame you guys. I don’t blame you, I don’t blame Hua Rong, and I don’t blame Xie Hui.”
“It was my choice at the time and I left in a very decisive way, leaving you no room for reprieve. I also knew very well that as long as I didn’t come back to you, with your personality, you wouldn’t appear in front of me of your own accord for fear that I would get angry. So in the final analysis, it’s because I left too heartlessly at that time. If I had answered you then with an ‘I’ll be back’, you wouldn’t have had such a hard time and you wouldn’t have let your friends see your pain and thus want to help you.”
Cupping Cheng Yu’s cheek, he kissed him again, “So you should also not mind, because you’ve already done very well. If you hadn’t, how would I have been able to trust you so much? In the matter of loving me, you’ve already done a very good job.”
Looking at him, Cheng Yu suddenly increased the force with which he was holding him and took him into his arms.
He hugged Lin An Lan, both aggrieved and touched. Aggrieved because at that time Lin An Lan didn’t even look back at him and touched because Lin An Lan was comforting him now.
He was also just a human being and so naturally, would feel aggrieved and despondent and even though he knew it wasn’t Lin An Lan’s fault, he had wondered how he could be so heartless.
It wasn’t that he hadn’t resented Lin An Lan before. He had resented the fact that he couldn’t give him a chance, that he couldn’t accept him, that he couldn’t try to make them work, but it was just that he loved him deeply. He had resented him because he loved him and had resented him because he had wanted him to look at him.
But now, Lin An Lan was telling him this tenderly, telling him that he had already done very well, telling him that he knew that he’d had a hard time, so he didn’t blame him nor did he blame his friends, and as Cheng Yu listened, his heart felt both sore and soft.
He loved this Lin An Lan so much. This gentle, sensible and willing to love him Lin An Lan.
He used to think that the Lin An Lan who didn’t love him was already very good. He was serious about issues, responsible for his friends, had his own thoughts and lived a confident and proud life, which made him love him even when he had been looking at him from afar.
But now, he found that the Lin An Lan who loved him was far more beautiful than the Lin An Lan he had noticed before.
He was straightforward, gentle and soft and very empathetic. He accepted his love, extended his hand and showed him his love.
He was clearly afraid, yet he was still willing to give him his love.
He had clearly been hurt by love, but was trusting him without hesitation and comforting him.
When Lin An Lan hadn’t loved him, his world had been in ruins even though it had had all kinds of prosperity.
Now that Lin An Lan loved him, his world had finally brightened and all kinds of trees were growing.
Hugging Lin An Lan, he whispered, “An An, why are you so nice?”
Lin An Lan smiled and wrapped his arms around him, answering him, “Because you’re my boyfriend.”
Cheng Yu suddenly thought of something and looking at him, asked him, “An An, what did you call me?”
Lin An Lan didn’t expect him to ask this question. This was the question Cheng Yu would ask during the time when he had lost his memory and was with him, but it didn’t seem right to ask it now.
However as he looked into Cheng Yu’s expectant eyes, he thought of the day he left, when Cheng Yu had asked him this question stubbornly but hadn’t received his answer.
Smiling, he answered him gently, “Husband.”
Cheng Yu smiled instantly, a smile so bright that it was as if peach blossoms were in full bloom.
Lowering his head, he kissed him tenderly and Lin An Lan placed his hands around his neck and gave him a delicate, long kiss.
Then hugging Cheng Yu, he leaned on his shoulder, thinking how could he possibly blame him? When they had separated, it was only because he had wanted to think things through. He clearly knew that it would be hard on Cheng Yu, but he had wanted to calm himself down a little.
But now that they were back together, thinking about his despair and pain, his heart couldn’t help but ache, so how could he blame him and his friends who had been looking out for him?
It really hadn’t been easy for his little flower. He had already suffered a lot over the years and Lin An Lan didn’t want him to suffer any more.
“Do you still feel insecure?” Lin An Lan asked him, “Because you just asked me that out of the blue.”
Cheng Yu shook his head, “It’s true that I asked you that when you lost your memory because I was insecure, but not anymore,” he said, “I just want to hear you call me that.”
Lin An Lan couldn’t help but smile, “Alright.”
As long as he wasn’t feeling insecure, then it was good. As for the rest, as long as Cheng Yu liked it, then there was nothing wrong with that.
After all, he also wanted Cheng Yu to be happy.
Feelings should be something that made a person happy, no matter what type they were, especially love.
Cheng Yu told Yu Heng about his reunion with Lin An Lan the next day.
Standing on the balcony of his study, he spoke to Yu Heng on the phone about it.
Yu Heng was silent for a few moments before asking him, “So do you plan on marrying him?”
“What about children?”
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