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He had longed for Lin An Lan to turn back and had wanted to ask him countless times, “Do I annoy you that much? Won’t you even go to an evening party with me?”
But he didn’t ask, because he knew that the crux of their problem wasn’t Lin An Lan.
Lin An Lan was just a friend who had regard for him, who didn’t like or dislike him, who didn’t love him or hate him and that was why he was a passer-by, the most ordinary presence in the graduation picture.
And now, someone asked him such a question.
Cheng Yu suddenly smiled. He felt that people were like this and would always be like this. They would always love only what they liked, the rest, they didn’t want.
That was why he never blamed Lin An Lan, because he was like that too.
He also only liked, what he liked.
“I don’t hate you.” Cheng Yu told him, “I have no feelings for you, no likes or dislikes. You are just like a passer-by on the street. If you’ve walked past, then you’ve walked past. I won’t feel anything, let alone look back.”
“Chen Yingjie, you like me, don’t you? That’s why you’re targeting Lin An Lan, that’s why you asked him questions like that, that’s why you’ve always wanted to team up with me, to get close to me.”
Chen Yingjie’s eyes widened, his hands unconsciously clenching into fists as he looked at Cheng Yu, his whole body trembling. He didn’t deny it, he just looked at him nervously and slightly shyly.
“But I don’t like you, and I won’t like you. Since junior high school, there have been quite a few people who liked me but I’ve never liked any of them, and it’s the same thing with you.”
“So don’t come near me again.”
As Chen Yingjie listened to his words, it was as if there were shards of glass lodged in his heart. Of course, he knew Cheng Yu wouldn’t like him, a person like him, how could he like him?
That was why he didn’t confess his love, but just said he hoped he could work with him.
But he never expected that he would still be seen through and that he would be rejected.
“Not even if it’s just for work contact?”
“I don’t think I’ll have any more work contacts with you.” Cheng Yu said, “Acting is not my lifelong career and in another year or two, I’ll probably quit this circle, so we probably won’t have any more contacts. “
The rims of Chen Yingjie’s eyes turned a little red as he looked at him pitifully.
Smiling, Cheng Yu said in a warm tone, “I’m leaving, I should go back. Remember what I told you.”
When he finished, he added, remembering something else, “When you were being scolded in public, you felt embarrassed. I helped you and you always remembered me for that, but now, you have also become someone who wants to embarrass others in public. Chen Yingjie, you are about to become the person you hated back then. “
After he finished, he turned and left the beach, leaving Chen Yingjie standing dumbfounded.
He seemed to have realized only now that in these three years, he had really changed. After walking around in the world of fame and fortune, he had become the person he had once wanted to be, but also the person he had once hated the most.
With him like this, it was no wonder Cheng Yu didn’t like him.
Chen Yingjie looked as if he was about to cry and also laugh, but in the end, he smiled self-deprecatingly. Only, his smile was pale and ugly, like a wrinkled white paper.
Before he even had time to write his beautiful chapter, he had already lost his initial polish.
Lin An Lan stood behind the window and watched. It wasn’t until he saw Cheng Yu leaving, that he closed the window silently.
He had opened his small window and by coincidence, had happened to see the scene on the beach not far away.
He hadn’t expected Cheng Yu and Chen Yingjie to talk for so long, or perhaps it hadn’t been that long, but because he had found it to be an eyesore, thought that it had been long.
He had woken up from a good sleep only to find that Cheng Yu had disappeared.
He had searched the house, then opened the window to have a look and finally, found Cheng Yu standing on the beach talking to Chen Yingjie.
The weather was hot and the rays of the sun were scorchingly hot, but the two men stood on the beach as if they weren’t afraid of being sunburned, standing by the sea, talking calmly.
The sky was a light blue, the weather clear and fair and from afar, it looked poetic, but Lin An Lan found it an eyesore.
When one fell in love for a long time, one’s heart would probably become petty.
Lin An Lan could clearly feel that his love for Cheng Yu was constantly on the rise.
He remembered that before they first took on [Yun Yun], he hadn’t wanted to act as Gu Shu Yu and Cheng Yu had asked him, “Would you mind if I like other guys?”
At that time he had answered him sensibly, “It’s just acting, it’s all work, I understand.”
But now, Lin An Lan couldn’t say such things.
Yesterday when Cheng Yu suddenly kissed him, he couldn’t say that as well.
If it had been the first recording of the variety show instead, and someone had made that request of Cheng Yu and Cheng Yu had taken the opportunity to kiss him only to explain afterwards, “Could it be that I should have really kissed Guan Fei?”
He would have probably retorted, why not?
It was just a game, he wouldn’t mind. Rather, it was easy to attract suspicion if Cheng Yu kissed him suddenly like that.
But now, he couldn’t use that argument.
In his heart, he wasn’t willing and didn’t want Cheng Yu to kiss Guan Fei, that was why he had acquiesced to Cheng Yu’s suspicious action, which reason told him wasn’t the best solution, but it was what he wanted.
He had started to care more and more about Cheng Yu and didn’t want him to be close to others.
Cheng Yu was his boyfriend, so he should only like him and kiss him, not talk about liking other guys in dramas and kissing other guys outside them.
All his tender intimacy should be his; he was the flower he was tending to, his flower, so it was only logical that he should blossom for him.
Lin An Lan couldn’t help but smile at this thought. After all this time, he had finally learned to be jealous and mindful.
–The more one loved, the easier it was to be mindful.
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