Lin An Lan didn’t really want to move, but it happened that Cheng Yu didn’t wear a condom this time, so he could only glare at Cheng Yu helplessly as he blamed, “It’s all your fault.”
Cheng Yu smiled and kissed him on the lips, coaxing him happily, “Yes, it’s all my fault, I don’t have the stamina.”
He rested against Lin An Lan’s forehead, his eyebrows were gentle and his eyes were full of deep love, “But it’s not all my fault, it’s my wife’s fault for being too charming, that’s why I didn’t behave.”
Lin An Lan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at his words. He was so angry that he pinched his waist, “Here you go with your nonsense again!”
Cheng Yu raised his hand, kissing it as he brought it to his lips, “It’s not nonsense, my wife is the most gentle, considerate and best man in the whole world.”
“Aren’t you yourself?” Lin An Lan laughed.
“How can I compare to you?” Cheng Yu hugged him tightly.
He lifted the blanket and picked him up, “Let’s go, let’s get you clean and then go to sleep.”
Lin An Lan pushed him, “I’ll go by myself.”
“That won’t work, only scum let their wives go by themselves afterwards.”
Lin An Lan simply didn’t know what to do with him, “Why are you so full of sophistry?”
Cheng Yu laughed, “Because I like you.”
He looked at Lin An Lan and said gently, “In this world, you are the one I like the most.”
Cheng Yu carried him, washed him again before the two returned to bed again.
Lin An Lan was already sleepy, so he didn’t talk to him about the script as he watched him close his eyes.
When he turned off the light, Lin An Lan inevitably rubbed himself against his arms and whispered, “Good night.”
Cheng Yu kissed his forehead, “Good night.”
However, he hadn’t been asleep for long when he was woken up by the ringing of his cell phone on the table. Waking up immediately, he picked it up and looked at the caller ID.
Lin An Lan frowned, muttering in a small voice, “Who is it?”
Cheng Yu kissed him soothingly on his brow, “It’s okay, go back to sleep, I’m going out to pick the call.”
He pressed the mute button and leaving the light on, left the bedroom using the light of his phone.
Before leaving, he didn’t forget to tuck in the corners of the quilt for Lin An Lan.
He walked to the balcony of his study before he finally picked the call, “Speak.”
“Jiang Xu went to see President Cheng today.”
“And then what?”
“They talked for a long time, and he didn’t leave until the evening.”
“He didn’t contact Lin An Lan?”
“No, he sent a WeChat message to Mr. Lin once, but didn’t it go and he hasn’t tried again since.”
Cheng Yu found it strange, why didn’t he call?
Jiang Xu should know that Lin An Lan had blacklisted him, so why didn’t he contact him by phone?
“Any other moves?”
The person on the other side hesitated for a moment then whispered, “He met old master Cheng, yesterday.”
Cheng Yu snorted, “He’s really persistent.”
“So Young Master Cheng, what do you plan to do?”
“Why should I plan to do anything about it?” Cheng Yu asked rhetorically, “I’m going to stand by and watch indifferently.”
“Young Master Cheng…”
“Alright,” Cheng Yu interrupted him, “I have my own rules, no need to give me ideas.”
“Continue to keep an eye on him, and contact me anytime there’s something wrong.”
Cheng Yu hung up and leaned on the balcony railing, looking out the window at the night scene.
The night was already very late and dark, the colour of the sky like thick ink, except for the moon which hang high in the sky spreading its own clear glow hazily, although the colour wasn’t deep, it added a special taste.
Cheng Yu lit a cigarette, but just as he wanted to smoke it, he remembered he had said before that he wanted to quit smoking so he put it between his fingers and only smelled the tobacco.
He felt that Lin An Lan had probably really lost his memory otherwise, he wouldn’t have taken such a considerable step in the relationship with him.
No matter how much he cared for Jiang Xu, he wasn’t the kind of person who would sacrifice his body for the other party.
He couldn’t help but sigh as he thought of this.
He hadn’t really wanted to go this far with him.
He liked Lin An Lan, but the more he liked him, the more he was afraid, afraid that he would leave when he regained his memory, and even more afraid of the way he would look at him when he regained his memory and learned that they had already done what they should and shouldn’t do.
What would he think of him?
He would probably find him disgusting and vile.
He would probably never want to see him again in his life.
And yet, that was what he really was.
A despicable liar with dishonorable methods.
Cheng Yu wanted to smoke again.
He didn’t smoke often. It was only when he was upset or confused that he would smoke a few sticks, in the vain hope of relying on tobacco to ease his mood.
His first time with Lin An Lan wasn’t too far away from now, it happened almost at the beginning or at the end of last week.
At that time, the two of them had been drinking and were watching a movie at home. It was raining outside and the house was dimly lit. The hero and the heroine were so into each other that they couldn’t help but kiss and hug and have s*x.
Lin An Lan looked on, seemingly embarrassed as lowered his eyes.
Cheng Yu cooperated and fast-forwarded through this part, but heard Lin An Lan ask him in a whisper, “Have we, have we, done this kind of thing too?”
“No.” Cheng Yu said frankly, “Have you forgotten that we just started dating? We haven’t done it yet.”
“Not even before we started dating?”
Cheng Yu looked at his curious eyes and smiled as he rubbed his hair, “Of course not, it’s not like we were friends with benefits. Before we started dating, we were a very pure I-chase-you-run relationship.”
Lin An Lan nodded and said “Oh”.
Cheng Yu thought this would be the end of the matter, but a short while later, Lin An Lan asked him in a curious whisper and even with some caution, “Then do you want to try?”
Cheng Yu: !!!
Cheng Yu looked at him in surprise, and saw a very faint but obvious eagerness to try hidden in Lin An Lan’s eyes.
He refused hurriedly, “No way.”
“Why?” Lin An Lan didn’t expect him to reject him. In his limited memory, Cheng Yu had been almost obedient to him and had never rejected him.
Cheng Yu didn’t expect him to ask why, he could only reply stiffly, “It’s not suitable yet.”
“I think it’s quite suitable.” Lin An Lan said without coyness, “I want to try.”
He was probably drunk that was why he had become much more courageous, his eyes shining brightly as he looked at Cheng Yu, “Don’t couples do it with each other? We can try it too.”
Cheng Yu restrained himself from tapping into the desire that was stirring up inside him, trying hard to act human, “Wait for later.”
“Why? I’m not a girl and I won’t get pregnant, so it won’t matter if I do it, why wait for later? What’s the difference between later and now? Are you going to break up with me and start messing around if you do it with me today?”
“Of course not.” Cheng Yu grabbed his hand quickly, “How can I break up with you? For the rest of my life, I will never mention breaking up with you.”
“Then,” Lin An Lan perked up, “then there’s no difference between later and now.”
Cheng Yu couldn’t say what was in his heart as he listened to his words.
If he was really his lover, of course he wouldn’t refuse, but Lin An Lan wasn’t.
He had lied to Lin An Lan, stolen his feelings, made him stay by his side, hugged and kissed himself and became his boyfriend. This was already wrong so how dare he, take that final step with him?
“I’m afraid you’ll regret it later.”
“Why?” Lin An Lan asked him.
Cheng Yu looked at his puzzled clear eyes and, in a rare moment, said the truth, “I’m afraid that you’ll be unhappy when you recover your memory later.”
Lin An Lan was silent for a moment.
As the air became a little heavy inexplicably, Cheng Yu held his hand and all he could hear was the piercing shrieks of the girl on the screen.
“Let’s watch the movie.” He coaxed gently.
But Lin An Lan didn’t go along with him on this topic.
He asked, “Cheng Yu, do you dislike the current me very much?”
“Of course not.” Cheng Yu, not understanding why he thought like this hugged him anxiously, saying without hesitation, “I like you no matter how you are.”
“Then why, do you only care if I’ll be happy after I recover my memory?”
He looked at Cheng Yu with some sadness in his eyes, “The me now, at this moment, this me with no memory, do you not care if I am happy or not?”
“I care.” Cheng Yu kissed his eyes in distress, “How could I not care, you are my favorite person, how could I not care about you.”
He called out to him softly, “Baby.”
Lin An Lan looked at the deep love in his eyes and knew that what he was saying was true, but he also knew that his deep love was rooted in his love for the person he was before he lost his memory.
But if he had appeared at the beginning, the way he was now, would Cheng Yu still love him then?
He was afraid that he would be unhappy when he regained his memory, so even if he wanted to try, even if he offered himself, he was reluctant.
But if it was the one without amnesia and with his memory intact who made this request, Cheng Yu would definitely not refuse, right?
At this moment, it was as if he had gotten in between a bull’s-eye, hardened and split into two different people.
That’s right, Lin An Lan thought, who would want their lover to suddenly forget everything that had happened between them one day and become like a stranger, oblivious to the love they had once shared?
It was normal for Cheng Yu to want to leave such important things to his complete-memory self when he regained his memory, so that it would be considered a sublimation of love.
But who knows when he will regain his memory? Maybe it won’t come back in this lifetime?
Perhaps the original lover that he knew so well, that he was waiting for wouldn’t come back.
Lin An Lan suddenly felt a little sad. For Cheng Yu, for the person he once was, and for the person he was now.
He thought a lot at this moment, then said, “I don’t want to watch the movie, I want to go back to bed.”
Cheng Yu panicked all of a sudden, “I’ll stay with you.”
He shook his head, “I’ll sleep by myself, you can watch the movie first.”
He tried to pull his hand out but Cheng Yu held fast.
He looked up at him. Cheng Yu wanted to say something but didn’t dare to, so he could only let go of his hand and say to him, “I’ll walk you back to your room.”
Cheng Yu walked Lin An Lan back to his bedroom, but didn’t leave when Lin An Lan closed the door, leaning against the wall next to the door.
He sensed that Lin An Lan’s mood wasn’t right, but he didn’t know why. Was it because he didn’t want to have s*x with him?
But this was the last bit of conscience he had left.
He didn’t and couldn’t dare have s*x with him.
Cheng Yu stood outside the door, his heart pounding in panic.
Lin An Lan sat on the bed, looking at the bedroom in front of him. This was Cheng Yu’s home, Cheng Yu’s guest bedroom, this was an environment he was familiar but also unfamiliar with.
But if he wanted to recover his memory, it would be most appropriate for him to stay in his own home, in his own familiar surroundings.
He suddenly felt as if he had been overly reliant on Cheng Yu ever since he found him after he lost his memory.
Cheng Yu accompanied him back home, Cheng Yu helped him get a new phone, Cheng Yu took him to meet his agent.
Even at home it was the same. Cheng Yu cooked, Cheng Yu washed the dishes, Cheng Yu kept him company.
However, what Cheng Yu wanted was a Lin An Lan with his memories intact, the Lin An Lan who remembered the details of their relationship, the Lin An Lan who personally promised to be his boyfriend.
He said he had been chasing him for a long, long time, yet he didn’t remember any of it.
Those past times when he went to great lengths to create chance encounters and pursued him persistently, he didn’t remember any of it.
On the one hand, he relied on Cheng Yu, but on the other hand, he was cruelly reminding Cheng Yu — this person in front of you is not the person you first loved.
This was so unfair to Cheng Yu.
Lin An Lan lay in bed for a while, then during dinner he announced, “I want to move back to my house.”
Cheng Yu’s hand that was clipping vegetables paused.
He looked at Lin An Lan, his heart racing with fear as his other hand holding the chopsticks trembled.
He put his chopsticks down, suppressing his fear and the strong possessiveness he felt inside and asked as gently as ever, “Why?”
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