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Chapter 144.2 Jiang Xu’s curtain call
Jiang Xu had always known that Lin An Lan was rational, but he didn’t think he would be rational to this extent.
What else could he say? Even if he were to die, Lin An Lan would also no longer care about him.
“The Cheng family won’t allow you and Cheng Yu to be together.” He told him.
“That’s not something you should concern yourself with.”
“Of course I have to. Cheng Yu’s grandfather called and asked me to acknowledge my ancestry. Xiao Lan, do you think I should agree to his request?” Jiang Xu asked deliberately.
“That’s your business, not mine.” Lin An Lan responded.
“How can it not be? He’s asking me to acknowledge my ancestry now. You can’t possibly not know why.”
“So what?” Lin An Lan asked him.
“I can refuse to go. You two can break up. I’m not asking for us to go back to how things were before, but I also can’t stand to see you really be with Cheng Yu!”
Lin An Lan chuckled, “Then go.”
“Aren’t you worried that if I go, it will affect his family’s happiness?”
“I’m not worried, I trust that he can handle it.”
“How can he handle it?” Jiang Xu glared at him. “As long as the two of you are together, you won’t have any children, but I will have children. When the time comes, who do you think the Cheng family will choose?”
Lin An Lan looked at him and for a moment, it was as if he was seeing his mother.
For a moment he felt the cycle of fate, felt the pathetic and ridiculousness of it all.
“Your mother must have thought the same way back then.” He told him. “She must have thought that with a child, Cheng Feng would give her a name and allow her to join the Cheng family or at least give her money. Now you too, are thinking about children. Both of you are truly mother and son.”
Jiang Xu froze, then shouted back hotly and agitatedly, “No, we’re different. I’m acknowledging my ancestry first and then having children. I’m not like her!”
“You’re the same.” Lin An Lan whispered. “It’s all the same.”
“Cheng Yu’s grandfather is willing to let you go back because Cheng Yu won’t have a biological child, but you can have one. It’s all the same, you are both relying on a child. Later, when your child is born, even if Cheng Yu doesn’t have a biological child, he’ll have an adopted one and you’ll compare your child to his, hoping that your child is better and if your child isn’t as smart or as sensible as Cheng Yu’s, you’ll be disappointed, discontented and resent the child.”
“Then, he’ll grow up just like you did and become another version of you.”
“He won’t!” Jiang Xu yelled. “I won’t let him become like that, I won’t.”
“You will. You won’t be able to control it. Once you enter the Cheng family, your sense of comparison will only become stronger. What you haven’t gotten, you’ll want your child to have.”
Lin An Lan looked at the person in front of him with sadness. “You hate your mother, but you and her are actually very similar. When she was young, she dreamed of marrying into the Cheng family and becoming the mistress of the Cheng family. So she had you secretly, hoping to enter the Cheng family through you and now, you also want to enter the Cheng family and become the young master of the Cheng family, so you want to acknowledge your ancestry. And in exchange, relying on the fact that you’re willing to give the Cheng family and Cheng Feng a child, become his son. You two, are just taking different paths to reach the same destination.”
Stunned, Jiang Xu couldn’t say anything more.
He seemed to not dare believe that he had truly become like his mother, whom he had once hated.
“However, you’re luckier than she was. The Cheng family might not allow you to love freely and pursue the person you really love, but they will arrange a good marriage for you. I hope that at that time, you’ll love your partner and your child more and not let your child grow up like you, with envy and discontent, trapped in resentment towards others for what he doesn’t have.”
Looking at him, Jiang Xu whispered quietly, “It’s not like that.”
Lin An Lan remained silent, feeling overwhelmed with a sense of powerlessness in the face of fate. Jiang Xu had gone round in circles, only to end up becoming another Jiang Liying, resembling the mother he once loved and hated the most.
This dramatic overlap of fate left him with nothing but sorrow and pity for the person in front of him.
“I wish you happiness.” He told him, “and I also wish your child happiness.”
There was confusion and pain in Jiang Xu’s eyes, as well as a loss as to what to do and unwillingness.
Lin An Lan turned to leave, but as he opened the door, he heard Jiang Xu call out to him from behind, “Xiao Lan.”
Turning around, he looked at his best friend who had been by his side since childhood, now sitting pale and weak on the hospital bed.
It was as if he was seeing them again playing together, studying, standing at the highest peak of the mountain and walking through the dark under the moonlight.
During the two most painful periods in his life, when his adoptive parents had left one after the other, the only person who had accompanied him was Jiang Xu, the best friend he had grown up with.
If life could continue moving forward without stopping, with all the important people in one’s life accompanying them to the end, how wonderful would that be?
But life was meant to be a stop-and-go train, with people getting on and off at each stop.
He smiled at Jiang Xu, a gentle and tolerant smile as he said, “Thank you for always being there for me since childhood. You’re good and I’m also happy to have grown up with you, so live well. You still have a lot of happiness ahead of you, so don’t focus on me. I’ve already met someone new to accompany me on the rest of my journey and you will also meet someone better suited to accompany you on the rest of your journey.”
“This is how a friend is, someone who will accompany you through most of your life’s long journey, but who will also meet his lover, with whom he will form a new family and have his own new happiness.”
“This isn’t an uncoexistable relationship. If I meet you again in the future, I’ll still say hello to you and talk to you. I don’t blame you, Jiang Xu, really, I forgive you, I don’t blame you.”
Jiang Xu’s eyes blurred with tears as he looked at the warm, bright person who wasn’t far from him. They had known each other since they were young, went through spring, summer, autumn and winter together, went through childhood, adolescence and then more than a decade of light.
They had seen each other at their most immature and saddest moments, had held hands and then said goodbye to each other as they reached the station of youth.
But he didn’t want to say goodbye, he wanted to stay by his side. He wanted to stay by his side forever, but he no longer needed it.
His tears flowing down nonstop, he lowered his head and hugged his knees.
Lin An Lan turned around, unable to bear seeing him like this.
Then he heard Jiang Xu’s voice from behind him, low, suppressed, with indistinct sobbing in it, his voice hoarse, “I won’t go back. I promised you I wouldn’t see him again, so I won’t go back.”
“I lied to you, I, I lied to you deliberately just now a moment ago.”
Lin An Lan looked back at him and could only see the top of his dark hair and his slightly shaking shoulders.
The late spring sun shone down on him, enveloping him in its light. He was lucky, in the end, to not repeat the same mistake his mother had made.
Smiling, Lin An Lan responded, “That’s good.”
Then he turned around and left, taking one last look at his once good friend before closing the door.
Then the light spread slowly behind him, as if he had finally grown his own wings.
Lin An Lan whispered, “Goodbye.”
Then closed the door and walked towards his lover.
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