“I’m too dependent on you.” Lin An Lan said honestly, “In this way, I may never recover my memory, I should return to a place I am familiar with and get in touch with things I am familiar with, this will be good for my memory to recover.”
Cheng Yu felt the fear in his heart grow stronger.
“But didn’t we agree to live together?”
“The accident was unexpected,” Lin An Lan tried to tell him, “At that time I didn’t know I would lose my memory either.”
“Don’t you want me to recover my memory?” Lin An Lan asked him.
Cheng Yu didn’t want him to, how could he want him to recover his memory? He had only just come to him, he had only just lived a life with him that he once dared not even dream of, how could he want him to regain his memory?
He walked around the table and went to Lin An Lan’s side. Holding his shoulders, he asked softly, “Baby, is it related to what just happened? Are you unhappy that’s why you’re angry?”
Lin An Lan shook his head. He wasn’t angry, he was a little lost but he could understand.
He just wanted to regain his memory quickly so that Cheng Yu could feel at ease and boldly do anything with him without any worries.
Instead of facing a lover with crippled memories, longing for the day when his memories were complete.
“I just want to recover my memory sooner, so that you won’t have to worry about whether I’ll be unhappy when I recover my memory later, and we can do whatever we want.”
“We can do it now too.” Cheng Yu said anxiously, he took Lin An Lan into his arms, the fear in his heart was like a black hole that kept swallowing him up, “Don’t leave, okay? I can give you anything you want, I promise you everything, okay?”
“I’m not leaving.” Lin An Lan didn’t understand why he was suddenly so resistant, “You can also come to my house, don’t you want me to recover my memory as soon as possible?”
Cheng Yu hugged him tighter instantly as he said, “It doesn’t matter if you recover your memory or not, what matters is you, as long as it’s you, it’s enough.”
“Those past ones, it’s not your fault that you deliberately want to forget them. It’s you I like, not the past memories. As long as you’re around, we can keep creating new memories, so you don’t need to try so hard to bring yourself back.”
He looked at Lin An Lan and said urgently, “It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have said that just now, I shouldn’t have just thought about the future of your recovered memories and ignored your current mood, I was ill-considered and negligent, can you forgive me?”
When Lin An Lan heard him say this, the grievances he had just felt flooded back into his heart. He had lost his memory and lost his emotional connection with everyone, leaving only his trust in Cheng Yu.
He was serene and at ease, bathed in Cheng Yu’s love, but he was afraid. Afraid that his current self wasn’t Cheng Yu’s chosen personality, that he would lose patience with him one day, that his love would fade as his memory loss took its toll.
“Is the current me like my personality before I lost my memory?” Lin An Lan asked him in a small voice.
Cheng Yu froze for a moment, unable to answer him.
Was it like that? He didn’t really know.
Lin An Lan had never loved him, so he had never been treated like this by Lin An Lan.
How could he possibly know what Lin An Lan was like in front of the person he liked?
But perhaps it was like this, because he had always been gentle, patient and full of tolerance when facing Jiang Xu.
Cheng Yu nodded and shook his head again, “Somewhat like and somewhat unlike.”
“But it doesn’t matter.” Cheng Yu said, kissing the back of his hand, “People themselves are multi-faceted, so no matter what personality you have, it’s still you, and I like it all.”
“Then have you ever thought, what if I never recover my memory? Or what if it takes a very, very long time in coming back?”
“You are still my wife no matter what.” Cheng Yu clutched his hand, “No matter if you recover your memory or not, you’re still Lin An Lan, you’re still the one I like.”
“Besides,” Cheng Yu smiled a little, “you’re cute now too, haven’t you noticed that I’m always peeking at you lately?”
He leaned close to Lin An Lan’s ear, whispering, “I’m always trying to steal kisses from you.”
Lin An Lan’s ears turned red instantly, yet he couldn’t help but smile as he lowered his head slightly.
“So don’t move back in, okay, what kind of person moves back in after living together? Is it because you don’t want your husband anymore?”
He hugged Lin An Lan and called out to him ingratiatingly, “Wife.”
Hearing his words, Lin An Lan was so shy that he could only nod his head in his arms.
Cheng Yu laughed, “I knew my wife was the best, my An An is the best person in the world.”
Embarrassed by his sweet words, Lin An Lan pushed him back, “Dinner.”
That night, he went to Cheng Yu’s bedroom after taking a bath.
He stood in the doorway and boldly said, “I want to sleep with you.”
His heart pounded in his chest. He knew that Cheng Yu understood what he meant, but he was afraid that he would understand but act as if he didn’t.
He looked at Cheng Yu, simple but stubborn.
Cheng Yu, at this moment, suddenly realized that Lin An Lan was actually still the Lin An Lan he knew best, his personality had changed, yet he hadn’t changed either.
He still has his own ideas and was very opinionated, no matter what one said or did, he would still insist on what he wanted.
He thought he had convinced him, but he hadn’t, which was why he had appeared in his room, asking him for answers once again.
But now Cheng Yu no longer dared to answer according to his own conscience.
He couldn’t bear the fear of losing him. That one time in the afternoon was enough to scare him; he didn’t dare or want to bear it a second time.
He got out of bed, walked over to Lin An Lan, bent down, picked him up and carried him all the way to his bed.
He looked at Lin An Lan sitting on the bed in a well-behaved manner with a delighted light in his eyes, only feeling that human nature was really fragile and that things like conscience really couldn’t not stand the test.
Even if he knew that it was wrong, that it was not okay, that when Lin An Lan recovered his memory he would definitely hate him with a venomous passion, he still kissed his forehead tenderly, kissed his eyebrows, kissed the tip of his nose and kissed his lips, kissing him with passionate indulgence.
He pulled his hand and pressed it to his heart, kissing him while promising him, “In this world, whatever you want, whether I have it or not, I will give it to you.”
Even if, later on, you hate me when you recover your memory, if you want it now, I will give it to you.
He cupped Lin An Lan’s face and kissed and nibbled on his lips, turning them a sweet red, then slowly moved to kiss his jaw then neck. His joy and sorrow, his love and hate and obsession, including peace and quiet, would always give way for Lin An Lan.
His conscience simply couldn’t stand the test, and as soon as Lin An Lan showed his intention to back out, he could throw his conscience aside and just try to hold on to him.
He loved Lin An Lan; in the whole world, he only loved Lin An Lan.
He unbuttoned the pajamas on Lin An Lan slowly with a heart full of love that wouldn’t die.
The room was filled with charm and gentleness.
After everything was over, Lin An Lan leaned into Cheng Yu’s arms, hugging him contentedly.
It was at this moment that he finally felt at peace, that he had finally merged his former self and his current self into one person again.
Cheng Yu rubbed his waist and looking at the hickeys on his shoulder, asked somewhat sheepishly, “Did it hurt?”
“It hurt a little at first, but then it didn’t hurt anymore.” Lin An Lan answered truthfully.
Cheng Yu wanted to see if he had any redness and swelling, but Lin An Lan stopped him, “Don’t.”
“Why not, I have to take a look and see if I need to give you medicine.”
Lin An Lan said to him, “You’re not the one being looked at, so of course you don’t feel shy, but I do, so don’t.”
Cheng Yu looked at his blushing face and guessed that he was embarrassed so he had to give up for now, thinking that he would look at it later when he went to the bathroom to take a shower.
He kissed him then said, “Sleep here with me from now on.”
Lin An Lan didn’t have a problem with that. They had already done this kind of thing, so naturally they should also sleep in the same bed, “Mm.”
Cheng Yu couldn’t help but hug him tighter, his heart filled with warmth and happiness.
He carefully, lovingly and discreetly touched Lin An Lan’s cheek and leaned close to him and whispered, “Wife.”
Lin An Lan looked at the tenderness in his eyes and thought of the many times he had called him that and how he hadn’t seemed to respond to him and whispered back, “Husband.”
Cheng Yu was stunned.
He looked at the person in front of him incredulously and asked in surprise, “What did you just call me?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve always called me?” Lin An Lan asked.
Cheng Yu smiled all of a sudden, great joy sweeping over him as he nodded in surprise, “Yes, yes, that’s what I call you.”
“Say it again.”
Lin An Lan was instantly embarrassed.
Cheng Yu hugged him, shaking his waist, “Be good, say it again.”
Lin An Lan was too shy to say it out loud.
On the contrary, Cheng Yu didn’t relent, “Wife, just one more time, just once, you’re the best.”
Feeling helpless, Lin An Lan couldn’t help but whisper, “Husband.”
Then, he realised that something was wrong.
Cheng Yu leaned close to him and whispered, “Let’s do it again.”
Lin An Lan: …..
This time Cheng Yu was obviously more excited than just now, even more so because of his experience as he straight away bullied Lin An Lan into hugging his shoulders and shouting, “Slow down. “
“Who should slow down?” Cheng Yu asked deliberately.
Lin An Lan was so angry that he glared at him, only his eyes contained moisture and the glare was not like a glare, more like a pout, causing Cheng Yu to feel that he couldn’t take it anymore.
He lowered his head and kissed his lips, asking unhurriedly, “Who should slow down?”
Lin An Lan was so angry that he pinched him hard, but he couldn’t help but beg for mercy, “Husband, slow down. “
Cheng Yu laughed, “Want your husband to dote on you?”
Lin An Lan nodded, “I want my husband to dote on me.”
“Alright, I’ll listen to my wife.” Cheng Yu kissed the tip of his nose and slowed down.
Lin An Lan hugged his shoulder, released a sluggish breath, then opened his mouth to bite Cheng Yu’s shoulder again in exasperation.
He bit with great magnitude, but with very light strength, taking care not to hurt Cheng Yu too much.
After all, this was his most intimate lover.
With that thought, he hugged Cheng Yu tightly, a slow smile spreading across his face.
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