“Jiang Xu, am I not good enough for you? So you’re still not satisfied, you’re still clinging to the things you wanted when you were 17. You’re 25, you’ll be 25 after this birthday, yet you’ve been going round and round for so many years. How come you’re still standing at the same place!”
“I thought I’d come a long way with you. I thought you had let go of it after all these years, but why are you still standing at the same place?”
“You disappoint me so much.”
“No, it should be that you disgust me. You really, really don’t understand me at all.”
He had disappointed Lin An Lan again. Before Lin An Lan lost his memory, he had disappointed him and after Lin An Lan lost his memory, he had disappointed him again.
Once again, it was because of Cheng Yu.
Jiang Xu sat in the car, unable to leave.
He sent a text message to Lin An Lan: [I was wrong, it’s my fault. I feel guilty towards him; I know he isn’t in the wrong, it was my fault].
Jiang Xu: [Xiao Lan, don’t be disappointed and don’t be angry. I know I’m wrong, okay? I won’t do it again.]
Jiang Xu: [I really didn’t want to disappoint you, how could I be willing to let you down?]
But Lin An Lan didn’t reply.
Parking his car at the entrance of the set, Jiang Xu refused to leave.
When Yang Wang received the news, he told Lin An Lan.
Lin An Lan didn’t even raise an eyelid, he just said, “Let him be.”
Then remembering something else, he asked Cheng Yu, “You should be more reliable than the crew if you don’t want someone to show up.”
Cheng Yu: ……
Cheng Yu didn’t know what to say. He could do it, but he didn’t dare participate in the breakup of the friendship between Lin An Lan and Jiang Xu.
It was Lin An Lan’s 18 years, the 18 years in which Jiang Xu had incomparable confidence and the 18 years which he had a bitter taste of and looked on with fear.
“Don’t let Jiang Xu show up. Whether it’s in the crew or the hotel, I’ll leave it all up to you.” Lin An Lan laughed.
Cheng Yu nodded helplessly, “Okay.”
The filming went on peacefully, and Jiang Xu never appeared again.
He would still wait at the entrance of the set or the hotel, but since Lin An Lan didn’t show up, he couldn’t meet him even if he waited.
Jiang Xu asked him, [Do you want to leave me? Are you going to abandon me too?]
Lin An Lan didn’t bother reading his text messages as he read his script, the side profile of his lowered face very serious.
Jiang Xu waited in a panic at a distance. He was obviously not very far away, yet he couldn’t see the person he remembered and couldn’t get a response from him.
Was he really going to abandon him?
Would Lin An Lan abandon him too?
How could Lin An Lan abandon him?
Wasn’t Lin An Lan the only one he could trust in this world?
So why wouldn’t Lin An Lan see him?
Jiang Xu got out of the car and tried desperately to break into the hotel, but he was stopped.
Remembering that he was still a star and that he couldn’t just roll about or make a scene in the hotel, he retreated back to his car and texted Lin An Lan once more, apologizing repeatedly and begging for his forgiveness.
But all of a sudden, Jiang Xu realized that he was behaving like he had a few months ago.
At that time, he and Lin An Lan had had a fight and he had been terrified, because Lin An Lan had never been so angry and had never said anything so serious to him.
He even blacklisted his WeChat and didn’t answer his calls.
He could only keep sending text messages, begging for Lin An Lan’s forgiveness.
He told him he was wrong, that he shouldn’t have done that, and that he wouldn’t do it again.
He told him that he didn’t want to follow that plan anymore and that he didn’t want anything. As long as Lin An Lan was with him, he didn’t want anything.
But then what happened….
He found out that Lin An Lan had gone to Cheng Yu’s place, so he thought Lin An Lan wanted to help him after all.
That he could get the best of both worlds.
He started to approach Cheng Feng again, thinking that when he had money, he would give Lin An Lan everything he wanted.
But what Lin An Lan wanted in the first place was for him to stay away from Cheng Feng and Cheng Yu, wasn’t it?
So how could he possibly help him?
How could a man of his character be willing to play with Cheng Yu’s feelings to help him?
He had had the wrong idea from the very beginning.
That was why he was wrong from the beginning.
That was why he had let Lin An Lan down again.
He didn’t disappoint his own mother, but she still didn’t want him.
He had let Lin An Lan down twice, so naturally, Lin An Lan wouldn’t want him.
Jiang Xu regretted it, he regretted it completely at this moment.
For him, everything in the world was a bubble of prosperity, but Lin An Lan was the pillar that prevented his mind from collapsing. When this pillar was still there, he could pursue prosperity without fear, but once this pillar was gone, all his worries were released and no matter how beautiful things in this world were, he had no desire to appreciate any of them.
Lin An Lan had been with him for a very long time. He had been born without a father, and his mother chose to bow out halfway through his life. It was only Lin An Lan, only Lin An Lan who had held him and accompanied him all the way.
As a teenager, Jiang Xu had felt that Lin An Lan was the best person in the world. He had thought to himself that when he grew up, he would give him everything he wanted.
As a young man, Jiang Xu had felt that Lin An Lan was the person with whom he felt the most at ease with in the world, that he would never leave him and that he would understand his longing for his father’s love.
However he had unknowingly betrayed his teenage self but had never discovered his betrayal.
It was only at this moment that Jiang Xu realized that he, too, could leave him.
When he had repeatedly lost hope in him, he would also choose to give up and turn away.
There were so many people in this world who could see the good in Lin An Lan. He could see it, Cheng Yu could see it and others could see it as well.
So Lin An Lan could leave him, but he couldn’t leave Lin An Lan.
[Xiao Lan, I was wrong. I won’t see Cheng Feng again, really.]
He sent out this text message, but there was no response.
Jiang Xu asked him, word by word: [I thought you said you wouldn’t see me until I’ve corrected my views, but now that I know my wrong and have corrected myself, why won’t you reply?]
There was still no response.
Lin An Lan had already gone to sleep.
He had waited for Jiang Xu, just as he had once waited for his mother, but he didn’t get a response from either of them. Tired, he chose to give up on them.
When Lin An Lan woke up the next day, he found that his cell phone had a bunch of unread text messages, but he didn’t read them. Changing his clothes, he went to film.
This week, Lin An Lan and Cheng Yu had to record the last episode of [Backpacking For Youngsters] on the weekend, so in order to make it on time for the crew’s filming, left early on the morning of the weekend.
This time, the location was still abroad, and for the final episode, the programme team had chosen a beautiful island for the stars to play some rivalry games while showing off their good looks.
When Lin An Lan and Cheng Yu arrived in S Country, they boarded the car sent by the program team.
When the director of the variety show saw Lin An Lan, he smiled and said, “An Lan, when we get to the hotel, there might be a surprise for you~”
Shocked, Lin An Lan asked: “What surprise?”
The director laughed, “You’ll know later.”
Lin An Lan thought they had prepared some kind of gift, and so was full of anticipation as he tried to guess what the surprise was, however when he arrived at the hotel, he realized what the director’s surprise was.
–Jiang Xu was here as well!
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