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Chapter 110.2 Cheng Yu, I’ve regained my memory

Friendship and passionate love were feelings that one acquired through human interaction. These two feelings were not bound by blood, so they required the human initiative to maintain them, and because they were born out of human interaction, very often the first friend one made and the first lover one had, became a very important existence for one.

Jiang Xu was Lin An Lan’s first friend, a friend who had walked with him through time and through many storms, so he was once very important and Lin An Lan had trusted him.

And Cheng Yu, Cheng Yu was the first person Lin An Lan loved, the first person who taught him about passionate love, so Cheng Yu had become, logically, the most important person to Lin An Lan in this area of love.

He was like a person who had just set foot in a new territory, confused and yearning for the unknown. He had hesitated on this territory, not knowing whether to move forward or not.

But luckily he had a wonderful lover, a man who was willing to wait for him patiently and who always loved him.

So Lin An Lan still had time to think, time to allow himself to take his time and think things through.

But of course, before that, he had to make sure that his boyfriend could be less trepidatious with fear and uneasy.

“I’m actually supposed to hate you,” Lin An Lan said as he looked at Cheng Yu, “after all, you really did lie to me. You’ve got a lot of nerve, no one has ever dared to lie to me like that before. You know I hate deception and I don’t like being lied to, especially when you threaten people to not tell me that I’ve been lied to. “

Saying this, he couldn’t help but look Cheng Yu up and down, “How come I didn’t notice that you were so powerful before? You even dared to threaten people using their wives and children, you are much more powerful than I imagined.”

Cheng Yu: ……

Cheng Yu bowed his head and apologized, “I was wrong.”

“Of course you are wrong, and very wrong at that.”

Cheng Yu’s head dropped even lower.

“But it’s also strange,” Lin An Lan said, “I know very well that you’re wrong, but I don’t really blame you.”

Cheng Yu looked at him in shock.

Lin An Lan looked down at his bowl of congee, stirring it slowly with his spoon.

“The day I left, I was more sad than angry that I had been being lied to. I was sad that you had lied to me, I felt that you shouldn’t have lied to me, but if you hadn’t, how would I get to know the kind of person you are. Should you have done it or not, would you have done it or not?”

“The more I loved you, the more angry and upset I became. I hadn’t regained my memory at the time so I was confused. I didn’t know if I should forgive you, if I was qualified to forgive you on behalf of me who hadn’t lost my memory, so I chose to leave. I wanted to calm down and I wanted to think about the matter carefully.”

Cheng Yu listened quietly, not saying anything.

“Later, I regained my memory. Actually, having regained my memory, in turn, was much easier than before when I had not regained my memory. At least I’m the me with my memory intact. I no longer hesitated in the ‘should I or should I not, and whether I’m qualified or not’ area. I can now make all the decisions, so I’m actually a lot more relaxed.”

“You’re also very lucky.” He raised his eyes to look at Cheng Yu, “Before I lost my memory, I didn’t like anyone else. I didn’t have a boyfriend, I didn’t have a girlfriend and I didn’t even have a crush on anyone, and although I avoided you, it was because of your father and Jiang Xu. It had nothing to do with you, so hating you is out of the question and in this case, you’ve become my first love by mistake. “

Lin An Lan remembered that when they were recording the variety show, he had said that he was his first love.

Although it had come from an erroneous origin, he was indeed his first love. It was just that the time between the two of them had spanned too long. Eight years ago Cheng Yu had fallen in love with him and eight years later, he had finally fallen in love with Cheng Yu.

Although they were both each other’s first love, eight years had passed between them, spanning both their teenage and young adult stages.

“I’ve tried to find your flaws, your mistakes, so that I could hate you a little more, but I’ve searched and searched and I haven’t found them.”

Lin An Lan looked at him, “You’re very good.”

He continued, “You’re a very good person, a very good lover and a very good boyfriend.”

“I was happy to have been loved by you, so I was happy during the times when I lost my memory. Even though I was lied to, it’s true that I was happy. In the more than five months of happy memories, I couldn’t find your flaws, mistakes, or any other reason to hate you except that you lied to me at the beginning.”

He thought to himself, if at that time he hadn’t come to Cheng Yu and had instead gone home alone, or had gone to Jiang Xu, then after that, perhaps the period of memory loss would also have passed calmly and smoothly, but perhaps, not so pleasantly and comfortably.

Cheng Yu had given him not only love but also a sense of security, so although he had lost his memory, he wasn’t afraid of anything. He knew that he could go to Cheng Yu when he encountered difficulties, that he could ask Cheng Yu when he had doubts, and that he could consult Cheng Yu when he encountered things he wanted to know but didn’t.

Cheng Yu knew everything, everything about him, everything about other people, and he was willing to do anything, as long as it was what he wanted.

He wasn’t stupid. If Cheng Yu hadn’t acted too reliable and trustworthy from beginning to end, if Cheng Yu hadn’t treated him with affection and tenderness from beginning to end, how could he have never doubted their relationship?

The best way to fool someone, was to tell the truth and to also do everything truthfully.

When everything done was true, then there was no such thing as a falsehood.


~ Nyurr, thank you very much for the Ko-fi’s💗💖~


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