Lin An Lan rode the night back to his home, got into the elevator and on his way out, saw Jiang Xu waiting for him at his door.
“What brings you here?” He was mildly surprised.
“I came to see you.” Jiang Xu said, “We haven’t seen each other for a long time, I miss you.”
Looking at him, Lin An Lan smiled a little, then opened the door and walked in.
Jiang Xu followed him in, asking, “Why are you back so late?”
“I went out on a trip.”
“En, then took care of a few personal things along the way.”
“What personal things?” Jiang Xu was curious.
Lin An Lan picked up a glass, poured some water, walked over to the sofa then sat down, “That’s none of your business.”
When Jiang Xu heard this, he was a little unhappy, “Isn’t your business my business?”
“Is that so?” Lin An Lan asked him in reply, “I thought my business and your business had long since been separated.”
“Xiao Lan what do you mean by that?” Jiang Xu panicked, “You, you still haven’t forgiven me yet?”
“Forgive you for what?” Lin An Lan took a sip of water, “For seeing Cheng Feng behind my back so many times, or for trying to get me to deceive Cheng Yu’s feelings? For having betrayed my trust, or for not thinking of me at all?”
“I already said I was wrong.” Jiang Xu approached him, “Xiao Lan, after all this time, it’s about time you got over it, isn’t it?”
“Do you think that no matter what you do, I will forgive you? That I’ll let it go?” Lin An Lan asked him, “That’s why you dare to say anything and dare to do anything. You can fail to do what you promised me and you can do whatever it is you didn’t promise me recklessly. After all these years, is this what our relationship is all about, that’s why you can think and act like this?”
Jiang Xu froze for a moment as he looked at Lin An Lan, at the Lin An Lan whom he knew so well that he couldn’t be more familiar with him.
This wasn’t like the Lin An Lan from before, this was more like the Lin An Lan he remembered before he lost his memory.
He was suddenly stunned, “You…. you’ve regained your memory?”
“Yes.” Lin An Lan answered frankly, “I’ve regained my memory.”
He looked at Jiang Xu, “Do you want me to regain my memory?”
Jiang Xu nodded. Of course he wanted Lin An Lan to regain his memory, because it was only then that he would leave Cheng Yu, it was only then that he would ignore him again and treat him as a liar who had deceived him.
“Of course I want you to regain your memory.”
“Why? Because I’ll leave Cheng Yu when I regain my memory and remember my relationship with you for more than a decade? That it would favor you?”
“No.” Jiang Xu said hurriedly, “I just don’t want you to keep being deceived by Cheng Yu. He’s a liar, he’s too good at pretending.”
Lin An Lan sneered, “Jiang Xu, you’re being modest. When it comes to pretending, you’re not far behind, are you? You’re so good at pretending that you’ve kept me in the dark for so many years. If I hadn’t lost my memory, I wouldn’t have known that you’d even met Cheng Feng. You’re so close to him that even though he didn’t raise you for a day, you’re still thinking of him.”
“An An, I know I was wrong. I haven’t gone to see him again.”
“What a pity then. You wanted to be reunited with him so much that you wanted me to deceive Cheng Yu’s feelings, so not going to see him, isn’t it a pity?”
Jiang Xu said anxiously, “I was just talking nonsense, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t really want you to go.”
“You did!” Lin An Lan said word for word, “You may have been talking nonsense for a moment, but you did it on purpose, you really wanted me to go, otherwise when I showed up at Cheng Yu’s side, when you saw me with Cheng Yu, why didn’t you come to me, why didn’t you persuade me to come back?!”
“You thought I was there for you, you thought I supported you, that’s why you allowed me to stay with Cheng Yu, isn’t it?”
Jiang Xu wanted to argue, but couldn’t. He was right, he had really thought that way.
Lin An Lan looked at him with disappointment, “You really, don’t know me at all.”
“I know you.” Jiang Xu said, “How could I not know you?”
“What do you know about me?” Lin An Lan asked him, “If you knew me a little, if you cared about me a little, you wouldn’t say such things! You wouldn’t think I would do such a thing for you!”
“Jiang Xu, what I hate the most in my life is being deceived, and what I hate more than being deceived is emotional deception! I thought you were the same as me, because you were emotionally scarred. When your mother left, she did so without saying a word, and without leaving anything, left you and ran off with someone else. You were depressed, falling of the right track and dejected because she left, because she didn’t say goodbye, so you know what it’s like, so how can you have the heart to ask me to deceive someone else? To let them suffer the same emotional pain?!”
Jiang Xu froze, not knowing what to say.
“Cheng Yu hasn’t done you any wrong, so why should he suffer this pain? This is not about gaining and losing, it’s about being fake from the beginning, never gaining, always losing! Don’t you remember how you were back then? You hate your mother very much, but in the end, you’re just like her. You only hurt people with your feelings, your mother only hurt you, but you, you hurt a completely innocent person who did nothing wrong and who has never wronged you!”
“You want to hurt people, you even want me to be your knife and you’re saying you know me? Am I such a tool in your mind that I can use myself to hurt people at will?”
“You don’t know me.” Lin An Lan said in a deep voice, “Not only do you not know me, you don’t care about me, and you don’t love me.”
“How could I not care about you?” Sitting down next to him, Jiang Xu held his arm, “Of course I care about you, I care about you the most. You’re my best friend, the person I trust the most, how could I not care about you? I care about you, I like you too.”
Lin An Lan shook his head, “You don’t care about me and you don’t like me. Maybe I do matter to you, but you care more about yourself, you love yourself more.”
“It’s not true.”
“It is.” Lin An Lan said calmly, “There are many people in this world who say they love me, my parents loved me, Cheng Yu loves me, some of my fans love me, but not you, only you, you don’t love me as much as you say you do. You only love yourself, everything about you is more important to you than my likes and dislikes, that’s why you were able to say that. You didn’t care that I’d be sad, that’s why you thought I would go do it, because you wanted me to.”
“It’s not true.”
Lin An Lan took his hand off his arm, “That’s the way it is.”
Sighing, he stood up and sat down on the other side, “Jiang Xu, after all these years, we have known each other for so many years. I was with you when your mother left and you were with me when my parents left; we have seen each other grow up and accompanied each other through one low point after another. “
“Once I thought we would be friends for life, that we would trust each other, that we would always be there for each other, but in the end, you wanted me, for the sake of a father who has never looked you in the eye to be a knife that would hurt someone. Maybe that’s the charm of time, time turns the precious into the unprecious and turns the valuable into the worthless. I’m no longer someone you think is worth caring about anymore, that’s why you treat me with impunity, with no regard for my feelings.”
“After what you’ve done, do you expect me to act as if nothing has happened and continue to be a good brother and friend to you? How is that possible?” He laughed a little, “I don’t trust you anymore, so, between us, this can only be the end.”
Jiang Xu stared at him in disbelief.
“But don’t worry, in the end we know each other, I will take you out of the blacklist. From now on when we meet, we can also get along with each other as normal friends or colleagues do, only I can no longer talk to you like before, keep you within bounds, or remind you. Just treat me as a normal friend. We can still greet and say hello to each other when we meet.”
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