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Chapter 57.1
Cheng Yu’s heart burned at his words, his hand over his eyes seemed to lose its strength.
There was a vague excitement in his heart, mixed with joy that went down the river of his heart then all the way to his heart.
He wanted to say yes, but he didn’t say a word.
He was silent for a few moments, before he suppressed the longing and leap of his heart and said calmly, “No.”
“There’s no need for that.” His voice was soft as always, like the spring sun, warm but a warmth that didn’t cause sunburn. “There’s no need for that. You are fine as you are, so there is no need to purposely stop contacting him.”
He was happy enough to know that Lin An Lan had this in mind, so, he didn’t really need to do that.
And he didn’t want him to do that either.
Lin An Lan was puzzled, “Why? You obviously want it very much.”
“There’s no need.” Cheng Yu whispered, “You don’t need to pay for my likes and dislikes, nor do you need to let there be a possibility of bearing a dissatisfaction for your future self for no reason.”
As he withdrew his hand from Lin An Lan’s eyes, Lin An Lan blinked, readjusted to the light, and then listened to Cheng Yu’s calm and sensible words, “Just like you now. You are trying to make it up to me because you ignored me before, so if I agree and you really do that, the future you might also feel regret for ignoring Jiang Xu now.”
“It’s not necessary, I’m not Jiang Xu and I don’t care about your dealings with him. I accepted that he was your friend, that he was your best friend from when you grew up together and that you were close long before I fell for you.”
“So I accept his existence and I accept your friendship.”
“But ……”
“There is no but,” Cheng Yu interrupted him, “If you really want to make it up to me, then just wait until you recover your memory.”
His voice was soft and indistinct, like the wind caged on top of a mountain that could disappear at any moment, “At that time, if you still feel sorry for me and want to make it up to me, even wanting to let Jiang Xu have a taste of this, then I would not object.”
“Because at that time, your memory would be complete and you wouldn’t regret or blame yourself for your actions.”
“And now, there is no need for you to add this risk.”
He said very seriously, sensibly and gently.
Lin An Lan had always thought that he was the more sensible one between the two of them. Moreover Cheng Yu, Cheng Yu loved him too much, that was why his emotions were greater than his rationality very often.
This was nothing, because it was normal, as love wasn’t a rational thing by nature.
If love was rational, everyone would choose the one who loved them and enjoy the happiness of being liked, instead of chasing after their own likes, rather than trying to be moths to a flame, rather than being a thorn in the side, rather than being hurt and discouraged.
Love itself, was the most irrational thing.
But the Cheng Yu now was very sensible.
His reasoning wasn’t for himself, it was for him, Lin An Lan, so he wouldn’t regret when he recovered his memory later, so his future self wouldn’t blame his present self.
Lin An Lan sighed, leaning into his arms, “Little flower, you can’t always think of me, you have to think of yourself too, love is inherently selfish, lovers have the right to be selfish.”
“I’m already thinking of myself,” Cheng Yu said.
He had really thought of himself. If he hadn’t thought of himself so much, if he hadn’t been so selfish, Lin An Lan would be at home right now, accompanied by Jiang Xu, spending this period of memory loss with him instead.
He was thinking too much of himself, that was why he wouldn’t let the current Lin An Lan break off relations with Jiang Xu.
Lin An Lan would one day regain his memory, therefore, he couldn’t do too much. He had already made too many mistakes.
If he could, Cheng Yu would still like to get a fixed-term sentence, not a life sentence or a death sentence.
He looked down at the person in his arms, smiled gently, and said to him, “Take a shower, it’s time to sleep.”
Lin An Lan went to the bathroom and took a shower, only then did Cheng Yu take out his mobile phone to send a WeChat.
Cheng Yu: [Next time Jiang Xu appears, tell me earlier]
[Ok] The other party replied.
He looked at the response calmly, then deleted the two WeChat messages.
He had returned more than 20 minutes earlier than Lin An Lan had expected, not by coincidence, but because he had deliberately quickened his pace.
The moment Jiang Xu entered the hotel, someone had told him, only at that time he was still busy, so he didn’t pay attention to his phone.
Otherwise, Jiang Xu wouldn’t have been able to spend those 10 minutes alone with Lin An Lan.
Cheng Yu put down his phone, relieved. Fortunately, Lin An Lan was always a person with a plan.
Luckily, things like memory loss weren’t common.
That was why Lin An Lan didn’t believe Jiang Xu’s words and made up a plan, taking advantage of the situation.
And that was why Jiang Xu didn’t think in the direction of memory loss. He only thought that Lin An Lan was really doing it for him.
They were each holding half of a fractured script, neither was complete, yet both helped the other find a good reason.
From this point of view, Cheng Yu felt quite lucky.
“I hope I’ll always be this lucky.” He smiled a little, praying for himself with all his heart.
Lin An Lan took a shower, changed into his pyjamas and urged Cheng Yu to do the same.
By the time the two of them were in bed, the moon was already high in the sky and the city had gone to sleep.
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