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Chapter 154.2 I love you the most in the world
Unlike many lyrics that flaunted literary talent, arbitrarily piecing together words for the sake of rhyming, and striving for grandeur while making no sense, Cheng Yu’s lyrics were simple, clean, and pure, without a trace of affectation. Coupled with his sorrowful melody, it struck a chord in people’s hearts, particularly Lin An Lan’s.
Lin An Lan had no idea that he had written such lyrics and sung such a song. When had he written it? And when had he sung it?
And singing with such sadness, what kind of emotions had he been feeling at that time?
Cheng Yu sang softly, reaching the second verse: “I cast a lock with my beautiful springtime
And ask the years for a piece of affection
I seal up the end of the road
I put the lies together again
I say it’s for you
I say it’s for you
But it’s silence again”
As Lin An Lan listened quietly, his heart was filled with an unbearable sourness.
He read the lyrics as he listened to Cheng Yu singing. He was singing so quietly and sorrowfully, as if afraid of disturbing others’ lives, as if mourning his own love.
Finally, he sang:
“The drifting clouds disappear
The years pass in silence
You know
You don’t know
I love you the most in the world”
Tears streamed down Lin An Lan’s face unexpectedly.
He knew, of course, but there was a time when he didn’t know, during those years when Cheng Yu loved him silently. He knew Cheng Yu wanted to be his friend, but he didn’t know that he loved him, only him, and loved him the most.
He had rejected Cheng Yu’s advances, so Cheng Yu quietly stopped bothering him.
And afraid of causing him trouble, Cheng Yu didn’t dare speak of his feelings, instead guarding his loneliness and affection alone.
This might have been Jing Huan’s feelings towards Gu Shuyu, but it was also Cheng Yu’s feelings towards him.
He once didn’t understand, why did Cheng Yu like that script so much? Why had he insisted on having him star in it and why had he stubbornly wanted to play Jing Huan?
But now, his heart ached immensely.
Cheng Yu had just wanted to express his love, the affection he couldn’t let go of, the part he didn’t know about.
He had wanted to tell everyone that he loved him, but he was afraid he wouldn’t want it, so he could only fulfill it through the film.
He didn’t need false comfort, so he hadn’t needed him to act as Jing Huan and instead, had him act as Gu Shuyu.
He had just wanted to express his feelings, a love without outcome, one that belonged to him alone.
Just like Jing Huan towards Gu Shuyu.
That was why, at that time, he had been so eager, asking him desperately if he was willing to act as Gu Shuyu.
Wiping his tears with the back of his hand, Lin An Lan sighed silently.
The music in his ears stopped, only to enter the single loop mode. As the music played, Lin An Lan couldn’t help but start crying again. His little flower, in a place he couldn’t see, grew with difficulty and obscurity. Although he hadn’t provided him with sunshine, he had become a sun on his own, warm, shining on him.
Wiping his tears again, Lin An Lan stepped out of the bedroom.
Cheng Yu was still in the kitchen, washing grapes as if evading something when he suddenly felt Lin An Lan hug him from behind, his face pressed against the back of his neck.
“Have you finished listening to it?” Cheng Yu asked him.
“En.” Lin An Lan tried to smile, kissing his neck, “It’s beautiful.”
Cheng Yu was inexplicably relieved, “It’s all thanks to my friend’s help, otherwise it wouldn’t have sounded so good.”
“When did you go to record it?”
“After the New Year.” Cheng Yu told him, “I gave the lyrics to Director Zhang during the filming and recorded the song after the New Year. At that time, Director Zhang said I could give it a try, so I did. Director Zhang thought it sounded good, so he used it.”
Lin An Lan unconsciously hugged him tighter, “During the time we were apart?”
Cheng Yu had been careful not to mention the word ‘apart’, however Lin An Lan had noticed it anyway, so he could only nod, “En.”
Lin An Lan felt his heart break even more.
Hugging Cheng Yu tightly, he leaned against the back of his neck, “I’m sorry.”
Cheng Yu looked back at him, “What do you have to be sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s my fault; I lied to you first, so it’s normal for you to have left.”
Turning around, he hugged Lin An Lan, coaxing him gently, “I don’t blame you, so there’s no need to apologize.”
But Lin An Lan still felt distressed.
He could hear the desperation in Cheng Yu’s song and the sadness hidden beneath his calm tone. He sang with so much emotion that anyone listening couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
Lin An Lan thought he had been too cruel. He had been heartless when they weren’t together and heartless when they had separated after being together.
He knew Cheng Yu would be sad, but he’d still left. With such a resolute departure, how could Cheng Yu not feel desperate?
He regretted it at this moment. Although, considering the circumstances at the time, he hadn’t done anything wrong, he still regretted it.
He should have loved him sooner– at first sight, during their first conversation, when he knew Cheng Yu liked him.
He should have fallen in love with him sooner.
Seeing that Lin An Lan still was cheering up, Cheng Yu was anxious. When he’d recorded the song, he had thought there would never be a future for them, that was why he had sang with such despair and sadness, without any emotional burden. He had even imagined that, after hearing the song, perhaps Lin An Lan wouldn’t hate him so much for deceiving him.
If he knew that they could be together again, he probably wouldn’t have recorded the song. He couldn’t sing it anymore; he had lost that feeling. His heart was filled with happiness and he had lost the original motivation. If he were to sing it again, it would probably sound like a sweet love song.
Unexpectedly, Lin An Lan was upset because of this song.
“I was really miserable at that time, but I’m not miserable now. I’m quite happy. If you don’t believe me, listen to me sing it now.”
Saying this, Cheng Yu immediately started singing the climax of the song, however the originally sad song suddenly turned into a cheerful tune as if celebrating escape from work.
How was this ‘I love you the most in the world’? It was obviously ‘Thank goodness you don’t like me, I’m so grateful!’
Lin An Lan couldn’t help but laugh.
Seeing him laugh, Cheng Yu was relieved, “See, I told you I can’t sing it now.”
“How will you sing this song if someone asks you to in the future?” Lin An Lan asked.
“I won’t sing it.” Cheng Yu told him, “I’ll just sing it for you.”
After saying this, he added, “The cheerful version.”
Lin An Lan laughed again.
Then he clung to Cheng Yu in a cute, coquettish manner, calling him softly as he nuzzled his neck, “Little flower.”
“En.” Cheng Yu replied, kissing the top of his head.
Lin An Lan whispered, “I love you the most too. In the whole world, I love you the most.”
Cheng Yu looked at him with surprise and joy, then gradually broke into a smile, “En.”
He couldn’t help but kiss the top of his head again, then letting go, held him by the shoulders gently, looking at him tenderly.
Lowering his head, he kissed Lin An Lan’s face lightly, then his lips and wrapping his arms around him, Lin An Lan responded to his kisses actively.
They kissed each other, sharing their love.
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