Chapter 191.1
Editor: Jodi
“I’ve actually always wanted to talk to you about this.” Cheng Feng said. “But you’ve always acted like you didn’t care, like it didn’t matter to you. So I thought, if you weren’t taking it seriously, then if I brought it up, it would seem like I was the one taking it too seriously.”
“I never wanted Jiang Xu. He was an accident. I didn’t know his mother was pregnant with him, let alone that she’d give birth to him. He was never part of my plans. He isn’t necessary, only you are. You’re the only one I need.”
Cheng Yu was a bit surprised. He had thought Cheng Feng had called him to the study for something important, unexpectedly it turned out to be about this.
“I know.” He told him. “You’ve made it very clear that you don’t like him, and that you don’t need him. I understand that.”
“Xiao Yu, when I was young, I failed your mother, and I failed you. But in my heart, there’s only one wife—your mother—and only one son—just you.”
Cheng Yu scoffed. “Then your wife must not mean much to you. As for your son, well, at least you still treat me better than your other son.”
“I did love your mother.” Cheng Feng argued.
“Alright.” Cheng Yu cut him off, “Don’t say things that are meaningless. Maybe you did love her more than anyone else, but that doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t only love her. So, no, you weren’t a good husband. Is there really any doubt about that?”
“I’ve long accepted this. I’ve also accepted that in your heart, I am your only son and that Jiang Xu is nothing like me. That’s why I never argued with you about him. Isn’t that better for everyone?”
“You’re my father, and I’m your son, but you were never a good father, and you weren’t a good husband either, but still, I’ll give you this—you do have some redeeming qualities. That’s why I’m still standing here, and why I haven’t walked out of this family.”
Cheng Feng looked at him quietly, then after a long moment, he said, “You’ll be a good father someday.”
“Of course. I won’t just be a good father, I’ll also be a good husband.”
He smiled. “If that’s all, then I’ll be going. You don’t need to think too much about this. After all these years, there’s nothing you could tell me now that would change how I feel.”
Cheng Feng sighed helplessly as he looked at the smile on his son’s face.
Sometimes, understanding and acceptance came from empathy and forgiveness, but other times, they came from indifference.
In the end, he had missed out on Cheng Yu’s childhood, so now, even if he wanted to repair things, it was too late.
Not every past mistake could be fixed. But at least, his son was a gentle person. He still stood here and called him “Dad.”
Cheng Feng nodded. “Go check on the child. Stay here for a few days, and when you get used to him, take him back to your place.”
“En.” Cheng Yu said. “I’ll be going now. Don’t overthink things. If I had wanted to argue with you about Jiang Xu, I would have done so when I was in freshman year. The fact that I’ve never brought him up should tell you enough.”
And with that, he left the study and walked toward the baby’s room.
When Lin An Lan heard Cheng Yu recount the conversation, he smiled. “It seems like he still cares about what you think of him.”
“What’s the point of caring now?” Cheng Yu said as he played with the baby who had just woken up. “I’m already this old now, plus I have my own child. Isn’t it a bit late to start caring?”
“Besides, he really did fail my mom. If it hadn’t been for his infidelity, my mom wouldn’t have gotten so sick during that time, that, even until the end, she didn’t try to nurse herself back to health.”
Reaching out, Lin An Lan held his hand.
Cheng Yu smiled at him. “I’m fine. It’s just that I feel that my mom was very pitiful. Compared to her, I’m extremely lucky.”
They both experienced love, but his love was warm and radiant, while his mother’s love was tragic and sorrowful. It was heartbreaking.
Lin An Lan and Cheng Yu stayed at the Cheng family house for a week before taking their baby home.
And since neither of them had any experience raising children, Cheng Xiao asked the nanny to go with them to help take care of the baby.
The baby was very well-behaved. Even when they carried him to the car, he didn’t cry. Lin An Lan shook a rattle to amuse him, and the baby smiled, reaching out to grab the tassel.
Cheng Yu watched, feeling a warmth he couldn’t quite describe.
When it had just been the two of them, he had thought their nearly 200-square-meter home was spacious enough. But now, with a nanny and a baby, it suddenly felt small.
“Let’s move.” He said to Lin An Lan. “I have a villa in Lin Jiang District. It’s already been renovated, but I always thought it was a bit far from the city center, so I never moved in. But now that we have more people, and we’re planning on having another child, a bigger place would be better for the kids. Plus, the villa has a yard. We can set up some playground equipment for them to play and get some exercise.”
Lin An Lan thought about it for a while, and thinking it made sense, agreed.
This was his first time being a father, and with no experience, he could only try his best to learn from his adoptive parents. He remembered that they had always given him the best they could afford, so he wanted to do the same for his children within the best of his abilities.
The villa had been fully furnished for some time. Cheng Yu took Lin An Lan to check it out—a garden full of tulips, a three-story house, spacious rooms, and a convenient elevator for daily use.
Lin An Lan liked it. It was definitely better than their current place.
“Why are the flowers already planted?” He was surprised. “Did you ask them to do that?”
“En. When I came to check the house out, the garden was bare, so I had them plant some tulips.” Cheng Yu said with a smile. “It was last year, right when you came into my life. See that tree over there? That’s a magnolia tree. By next spring, it’ll be in full bloom.”
Lin An Lan looked in the direction he was pointing at in surprise. He had noticed the tree in the corner of the garden but hadn’t paid much attention to it because there were no buds on the branches. He hadn’t realized it was a magnolia tree.
“You transplanted it?”
“En. It was this tree that came first, and then the little magnolia plant at home.”
Lin An Lan laughed. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
“I did.” Cheng Yu said. “I asked you when we got married if you wanted to move to a new place. Since we were newlyweds, I thought we could have a new home. But you said no, that you liked where we were, so I didn’t bring it up again.”
Lin An Lan: ….it seems, something like that had really happened.
“I originally planned for us to move here after we got married, but you didn’t like the idea, so I didn’t push it. After all, this place is farther from the city center. And besides, most of our important moments happened in that apartment, so it’s only normal that you’d be more attached to it, so I didn’t want to persuade you anymore.”
“Okay.” Lin An Lan laughed. “I am really attached to that place.”
So many important things had happened in that apartment, and the fact that they were together at all was largely because of that rainy night when he had knocked on the door and walked in.
When you’ve lived somewhere for so long, it becomes part of you.
That’s why he had rejected Cheng Yu’s offer for them to move at the very beginning. If it wasn’t because their family was growing, he would have probably kept preferring their little place for two.
“But now that the yard is full of flowers, we’ll probably need to re-plan it in the future so our babies have space to play.”
“You can handle that however you like.” Cheng Yu said gently. “You’re the head of the household, so I’ll naturally listen to you.”
“I’m the head of the household?” Lin An Lan looked up at him. “Then what are you?”
Wrapping his arms around him, Cheng Yu said easily, “I’m just the little flower you’re raising.”
Lin An Lan couldn’t help but laugh. “Then I’ll be sure to take good care of you.”
“I trust you.”
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