I love you the most in the world [Entertainment circle]

Chapter 218.1

Editor: Princess

After studying for a day, Cheng Yu became more and more convinced that he and Lin An Lan should be lovers.

Simply put, wasn’t childhood friends becoming lovers just about discovering that one had unspeakable desires for their childhood friend? Wanting to kiss him, hug him, possess him, not wanting him to be with others, and hoping his attention was entirely on them?

Cheng Yu felt he met all these criteria except for those unspeakable desires!

However, his experienced father had said that love and sex could be separated—sex didn’t represent love. His study materials also said that sex belonged to animal instinct and wasn’t necessarily driven by love, so he felt that this wasn’t a big problem.

Moreover, thinking about Lin An Lan’s body under his clothes, he felt that he wasn’t opposed to it. In fact, he was a bit eager to try!

He looked at Lin An Lan, then looked at Lin An Lan again, and kept looking until Lin An Lan felt somewhat puzzled and asked him, “What are you doing?”

Only then did he withdraw his gaze. “Nothing.”

Lin An Lan frowned, closed his book, and prepared to take a shower.

Cheng Yu stood up quickly. “I’ll shower with you.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Why should there be a why?” Lin An Lan looked at him. “Go shower in your own room.”

“I’m not a girl, and neither are you. Why do we need to shower separately?”

Lin An Lan: …

Lin An Lan had no choice but to allow him to come in together.

Cheng Yu’s scheme succeeded. He smugly followed him in and offered attentively, “Should I apply body wash for you?”

Lin An Lan pushed him away. “Stay away from me.”

He rinsed off hurriedly then left the bathroom.

Cheng Yu could only put on his bathrobe regretfully and come out as well.

Lin An Lan was blow-drying his hair. Cheng Yu sat behind him and took the hair dryer to help him dry it.

After his hair was dry, Cheng Yu put down the hair dryer and hugged Lin An Lan from behind.

Lin An Lan looked back at him in surprise. Cheng Yu’s eyes were bright. “An An, I read many novels today. Many about childhood friends becoming lovers. I think we can also transition from childhood friends to lovers.”

Lin An Lan: ????

So he had been silently focused on reading novels at school all day just to read these?! And here he thought he had finally given up!

“Novels are all fake! We can’t!”

“How are they all fake? Art comes from life! If they can do it, so can we.”

“We can’t.”

“We really can.” Cheng Yu said seriously, “I read that whether it’s friendship or family affection, the transition to love starts with desire. For example, my brother wouldn’t want to kiss me, Xu Sheng wouldn’t want to hug me, and they definitely wouldn’t want to be with me forever, nor would they get jealous because I like someone else more. But I would. I want to kiss you, hug you, be with you forever, and make you like me the most. Even now, just thinking about you liking someone else in the future and treating them better than you treat me makes me feel very depressed.”

Hearing these words, Lin An Lan’s heart trembled slightly. He inexplicably became nervous, with a panic he didn’t understand himself, and tried to persuade Cheng Yu, “That’s because we’ve always depended on each other and haven’t let others get close. How about this? In a few days, let’s try separating for a while and make some other friends. Then you’ll realize…”

“I don’t want to.” Cheng Yu interrupted him. “Why should I separate from you?”

He hugged Lin An Lan tightly, resting his head on his shoulder. “I want to be with you always, never to be apart.”

“Cheng Yu, you’re really mistaken.”

“I’m not.” Cheng Yu tried to persuade him. “Isn’t it the same for you with me? Don’t you want to be with me forever? You’re also willing to kiss me, what’s more you’ve never kissed anyone else, and when I kissed you twice, you didn’t get angry or feel disgusted. This shows you can accept intimate behavior between lovers with me.”

“I’m not.” Lin An Lan felt his heart beating rapidly, his whole being in chaos, his brain buzzing, not understanding why things had developed to this point.

“Although I don’t dislike it and didn’t get angry with you, I’m unwilling. Cheng Yu, I don’t want to develop a romantic relationship with you. I want to be your friend, your younger brother. I can be any identity, but I definitely can’t be your lover.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m unwilling.” Lin An Lan pulled away his hands and turned to look at him. “Have you thought about your future?”

He looked at Cheng Yu with clear eyes. “I have thought about it. I’ll have a gentle wife, a cute child, and a new family of my own.”

“Can’t I do that?” Cheng Yu didn’t understand. “I can also form a new family with you.”

“But I want a child of my own blood.” Lin An Lan said cruelly. “You can’t give me that, and I can’t give it to you either.”

Cheng Yu was stunned for a moment, then seemed to think of something and asked, “Is blood relation that important? You don’t have a blood relation with my parents, but don’t they still like you?”

Lin An Lan shook his head, his words insincere. “For you, of course it’s not important, because you already have parents connected by blood. But for me, it’s very important. I want a family member connected to me by blood.”

His voice was calm and cold. “I won’t be with a boy. My lover will definitely be a girl.”

Cheng Yu couldn’t say anything.

This was a situation he hadn’t considered. He had unconsciously ignored this possibility because he liked Lin An Lan, so he subconsciously thought that as long as Lin An Lan liked him too, it would be fine. He had completely forgotten that in conventional eyes, boys matched with girls.

For a moment, he seemed to wilt, like experiencing a sudden blizzard. Before he could react, his whole being had already become dejected.

He said quietly, “I see.”

Lin An Lan nodded. “Mm.”

The air became somewhat awkward. Cheng Yu turned over and lay in the blankets, saying as if escaping, “Then let’s sleep. Good night.”

Lin An Lan looked at him with his back turned to him. This was the first time he didn’t dare look at him.

Lin An Lan wanted to reach out and hug him but didn’t dare move.

He stood there quietly for a while and said to him, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Cheng Yu said softly. “It’s not your fault. I can like you, and of course you can like others too.”

He spoke very gently, and Lin An Lan’s eyes felt sore.

He hurriedly turned off the lights and lay in the blankets, turning his back to Cheng Yu.

They had grown up together since childhood. Cheng Yu treasured and cared for him, and almost from the day he brought him home, he had slept in the same bed with him.

Later, when they grew up, Yu Hanshuang, Cheng Feng, and even Cheng Xiao had said they should sleep separately. But Cheng Yu would still do homework with him every time, and after finishing, he would claim to be too tired and lie on his bed, refusing to leave.

He would always hug him or hold his hand, and sometimes when the mood struck, he would kiss his forehead, giving him a goodnight kiss before sleeping together.

But now, they were lying with their backs to each other, neither daring to speak.

Lin An Lan’s eyes ached with sadness, but he also knew that on this matter alone, he couldn’t agree to Cheng Yu.

Yu Hanshuang had adopted him not so that he would be with her biological son.

She had stayed in the Cheng family all these years largely for Cheng Yu and the Yu family’s future.

If he were a girl, if he could have children with Cheng Yu, then even if they were together, it wouldn’t matter.

But he was a boy. If he were with Cheng Yu, Cheng Yu would face too many problems.

He understood this family too well. The Cheng family valued blood relations so much that even after adopting him, they didn’t put his household registration under Cheng Feng’s name, just so that the Cheng family’s wealth would always remain in the hands of the Cheng family.

If he were with Cheng Yu and they had no descendants, would Cheng Yu still have inheritance rights?

Would Cheng Xiao and Cheng Feng really allow them to be together?

Lin An Lan couldn’t answer, but he didn’t want to harm Yu Hanshuang for his own sake, or harm Cheng Yu’s relationship with his family and his future. Therefore, he chose to refuse.

He didn’t care whether he had biological children or whether his lover was definitely a girl. He himself had been abandoned by his biological mother—he had long stopped believing in blood relations.

He just couldn’t be as carefree and single-minded as Cheng Yu.

He had too many concerns, so he could only ruthlessly refuse Cheng Yu’s love when it was just budding.

Lin An Lan blinked and didn’t let himself cry. He closed his eyes but couldn’t fall asleep.