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Chapter 36.1
Editor: Jodi
There was a bit of wind in Qing’an Town at night. After Xu Ling woke up in the morning, he pushed open the window, however there was only a bare clothes rack outside.
Xu Ling: “?”
Xu Ling: “Fuck.”
“It’s freezing!” Ning Sheng woke up, “What are you doing so early in the morning? Close the window!”
Shivering, Xu Ling closed the window.
“One red bean bun and one cup of soy milk.” Ning Sheng wrapped himself up tightly, with only a little bit of his snow-white ankle showing at the edge of the blanket.
“A meat bun, right?” Xu Ling put his down jacket on, “I’ll go buy it now?”
Ning Sheng: “Are you deaf?!”
“Huh? What? I can’t hear you.” Xu Ling dashed out of the room, “Eh, where are my ears? I can’t feel them.”
A pillow flew out.
**
Xu Ling’s mom was standing by the pigpen in the yard downstairs.
“Has Peiqi become smart?” She asked, “Otherwise why is there a pair of underwear here?”
“Impossible.” Xu Ling grabbed his underwear, “If it had, it would have at least chosen a pair that fits it right?“
He washed his clothes again, then hung them back on the clothesline.
Xu Ling felt a bit melancholic.
“Little Bell.” His stepdad was holding a bowl of porridge, and seeing him, patted the table, “Come here, let’s have a parent-child talk.”
Xu Ling: “?”
“You’re halfway through the first year of middle school.” His stepdad tried hard to act like a dad, saying seriously, “Do you have any difficulties in your studies?”
“Yes.” Xu Ling thought for a moment, then tilted his head, “When did you start having wet dreams?”
“Pff.” His stepdad spit out a mouthful of porridge.
“Around thirteen or fourteen?” His stepdad said.
Xu Ling: “Hmm, not bad.”
His stepdad: “?”
*
Lu Peng was sharpening his knife by the breakfast stand, just like usual.
“Dog Xu, good morning.” He greeted Xu Ling, “You’re looking handsome.”
“Morning.” Xu Ling replied, “You’ve got dark circles under your eyes.”
“I didn’t sleep well. I dreamt last night that Peiqi beat me up.” Lu Peng’s expression twisted, “And in the dream, princess was standing next to me, so I didn’t dare fight back.”
“Really a case of— what you think about during the day, you dream about at night.” He added.
“What you think about during the day, you dream about it at night?” Xu Ling asked.
Lu Peng: “What, did I pronounce it wrong?”
“I’m normal, hahaha.” Xu Ling ran off, bouncing.
Lu Peng: “?”
Li Haoyue, who was sitting on a tricycle weighing fruit: “He doesn’t seem very normal.”
Lu Peng: “….”
*
In Xu Ling’s yard, Ning Sheng was angrily holding a meat bun.
“I wanted a red bean bun!” He said, “Xu Dashan!”
“Tomorrow, I’ll buy it tomorrow.” Xu Ling grabbed the bun and shoved it into Ning Sheng’s mouth.
Ning Sheng: “….”
“Hey, where are you going?” Xu Ling chased after him, “Are you mad? I have a red bean bun here, I’ll give it you okay?“
“Go out and eat.” Ning Sheng said, “Don’t eat meat buns in front of Peiqi, that’s too cruel.”
Xu Ling: “….”
After the morning passed, Lu Peng and Li Haoyue arrived, each carrying a school bag, coming to join them in doing winter break homework.
“Here’s a fruit of wisdom for you.” Li Haoyue opened his bag and handed Ning Sheng an apple.
“I’ll give you a….” Lu Peng opened his bag and pulled out a box of braised pig’s feet, “Without delay.”
“Do you guys have to pay homework tax before doing homework?” Ning Sheng asked.
“Dog Xu said you’re too weak, and that you need extra help.” Lu Peng told him.
Ning Sheng: “Where am I weak!”
Ning Sheng: “Then Dog Xu, what are you giving me?”
Xu Ling, who hadn’t prepared anything, was already sweating.
“I’ll give you… some house-guarding skills.” Xu Ling told him.
“Only dogs need to guard the house.” Ning Sheng said coldly in reply.
“We’re not going out to play today.” Xu Ling declared, “We’re going to teach princess how to fight, so make sure to teach him well.”
Lu Peng: “Okay!”
So, the four of them sat around a table, using collective wisdom to finish a whole language homework book.
However the moment Ning Sheng stretched and stood up, Xu Ling grabbed his collar and dragged him to the tree, tripping him onto the ground.
Ning Sheng: “???”
Then the three people who were taller than him surrounded him, trapping him in the middle.
“You three!” Ning Sheng said angrily, “You don’t even add up to one brain even when you’re bound together!“
“He’s not motivated, so give him some context.” Xu Ling instructed, “Let’s see if we can force some potential out of him.”
Ning Sheng: “?”
Then Xu Ling bent down, slipped his right hand into Ning Sheng’s hair, then tugged lightly, forcing Ning Sheng to look up.
“Little student, are you alone?” He grinned nastily.
“What’s in your pocket, money?” Lu Peng grinned nastily.
“Such a pretty face, how about a smile?” Li Haoyue grinned maliciously.
“? You’re off-topic.” Xu Ling smacked the math nerd, “We’re robbing money, who told you to steal hearts?”
Math nerd: “Oh, sorry.”
Xu Ling: “Continue.”
“Pay your respects to your Xu Ge.” Xu Ling patted Ning Sheng’s cheek then pinched it, “Be sensible.”
“Hurry up, otherwise we’ll make you suffer.” Lu Peng shoved him.
Li Haoyue: “Hand over the money, or you’ll have to do 1,000 math problems.”
Ning Sheng: “….”
Had there been alcohol in that language homework? Because why were they all going crazy?
“Get lost!” Ning Sheng said angrily.
“Hit me already.” Xu Ling told him, “If you don’t hit me, you won’t be allowed to leave.”
“Fuck.” Lu Peng said, “Tell him to not slap me, I’m really scared.”
Li Haoyue: “Don’t slap me, I’m not that good at fighting either, wuwu.”
Then there was a chaotic mess of chicken flying and dogs jumping under the tree.