When Qi Chang’an said that, Xu Luoyang cocked his chin up somewhat proudly. But quickly, his smile faded a bit and his words came out slowly, “This feeling…. it started two weeks ago.”
“In the first week I came here, I was mostly getting used to the way filming was done here. Even though you gave me a lot of pointers before leaving, I still found it a bit unfamiliar.”
“Nao Nao definitely adapted quickly.”
“Of course!” Xu Luoyang nodded, continuing, “Another week passed. I was filming a scene where a forty-something You Su goes back to the past, wanting to change a few things. One of those things was to prevent his mother’s death in a laboratory explosion. But I…. he failed. He witnessed his mother’s death for the second time.”
Qi Chang’an noticed very keenly that when Xu Luoyang got to this part, his back was ramrod straight, a fine tremor running through him, and his choice of words had also changed –
I failed – Xu Luoyang originally wanted to say that.
Leaning in to kiss the corner of Xu Luoyang’s lips, Qi Chang’an made their gazes meet, asking softly, “This was a turning point, wasn’t it?”
Xu Luoyang felt as if his slightly distracted mind, like a kite tied to a string, was abruptly reeled back by Qi Chang’an. The terror and sadness in his eyes gradually diluted, and he pondered Qi Chang’an’s question.
“Yes, after filming the scene where he was kneeling on the lawn crying, I couldn’t get up from the grass for a long time. I even felt so upset that I skipped dinner. But after our video call in the evening, I felt a bit better. However, I started having dreams in the middle of the night, with the laboratory explosion playing over and over.”
Taking a soft breath, Xu Luoyang subconsciously tightened his grip on Qi Chang’an’s hand. “After that, I occasionally started losing track of whether I was Xu Luoyang or You Su. I started being picky about my food, started liking to draw all the curtains, only turning on the table lamp.
One time, after I got off work, I was even holding a pen in my left hand, searching everywhere for a diary, wanting to write. But after a long search, I couldn’t find it. Then it suddenly hit me, it’s You Su who has the habit of writing in a diary with a pen, not Xu Luoyang.”
As he spoke, his voice carried a slight tension and unease, “So I was certain then, that I was really not normal, that there was something wrong with my mental state.”
Qi Chang’an tightened his arm around Xu Luoyang, kissing him soothingly, and asked, “What did the psychologist say?”
“The psychologist provided by the crew didn’t have much to offer.” At this point, Xu Luoyang chuckled, “Maybe it’s because of my past experiences, but I’m particularly stubborn. I tried psychotherapy three times, and it was no use at all.”
Qi Chang’an nodded. He understood this situation. Whether it was him or Xu Luoyang, they had armored their hearts with many layers to protect themselves from their pasts. It was like him at the age of fifteen, where a psychologist couldn’t influence him anymore.
Changing his position, Xu Luoyang straddled Qi Chang’an’s thigh, leaned closer and said, “Chang’an, I really love this character and this movie. But I’m actually very scared. I’m afraid that if I keep going like this, I might lose my mind.”
“You won’t.” Qi Chang’an reassured without a moment’s hesitation, without the slightest doubt, “I’m your psychologist, the best and the most suitable one.”
Xu Luoyang was amused, “Wow, Mr. Qi, you really have a big face 1you’re really confident!”
“Didn’t you just say I’ve lost weight?”
“Those two statements aren’t contradictory!” Hearing this, the tension in Xu Luoyang’s heart that had been there for a long time finally eased. He wrapped his arms around Qi Chang’an, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder, humming a little tune involuntarily, obviously very relaxed.
Not long after, the humming by his ear gradually became muffled, and Qi Chang’an heard Xu Luoyang’s steady breathing and knew that the person in his arms had fallen asleep. He waited a few more minutes before carefully picking him up and placing him on the bed.
But as soon as he stood upright, Xu Luoyang shifted restlessly, his eyelashes quivering as if he was about to wake up. Qi Chang’an’s hand covered his cheek, his fingers gently rubbing a few times, whispering soothingly, “Be good, I’m going to sleep with you.”
Xu Luoyang’s slightly furrowed brows relaxed again.
But after Qi Chang’an lay down beside Xu Luoyang, he didn’t feel sleepy. The light was already off, he closed his eyes to rest, not knowing how much time had passed, when he suddenly felt Xu Luoyang constantly burrowing into his arms.
Patting his back, Qi Chang’an gently called, “Nao Nao?” There was no answer. He wasn’t sure if Xu Luoyang had woken up, but a few seconds later, the grip on his arm explained everything.
Qi Chang’an was somewhat helpless. He lowered his head to bite Xu Luoyang’s ear, speaking in a breathy voice, “Awake?”
The breath sprayed on his ear was ticklish, Xu Luoyang shrunk his neck, and softly hummed in response. However, he didn’t let go of his hand, and continued to hold on.
Taking the opportunity to lick Xu Luoyang’s earlobe, Qi Chang’an’s kiss followed the jawline all the way to his lips, not giving Xu Luoyang a chance to speak, he kissed him deeply.
The two hadn’t seen each other in a month, so there was quite a bit of tension. It was only after constant trials and adjustments that it finally went in. Xu Luoyang’s mind was fuzzy, his raised legs were sore, and his waist was also sore, then Qi Chang’an suddenly stopped. He inexplicably felt a bit wronged, his legs squeezing Qi Chang’an’s waist with a hint of urging. Then he heard Qi Chang’an asking,
“Who am I?”
Xu Luoyang answered without thinking, “It’s Chang’an Ge-ge, the big demon!”
Pushing hard into him, Qi Chang’an’s voice was filled with an obvious smile, “Then who are you?”
This time, Xu Luoyang hesitated for a few seconds, “…..Xu Luoyang, I am Xu Luoyang.”
Sweat dripped down Qi Chang’an’s face, landing on Xu Luoyang’s face. His voice was very soft and tender, as if filled with infinite patience, “Who does Qi Chang’an like?”
This time Xu Luoyang didn’t hesitate, answering decisively, “Me!”
“No!” Xu Luoyang was half awake and half dazed, quite upset. His eyes widened, and he spoke very quickly, “Who is You Su? I’m angry! Qi Chang’an, are you planning to become a jerk?”
Due to the excitement, the key hole tightened abruptly, Qi Chang’an took a cold breath, slowing down his movement. Noticing that Xu Luoyang’s watery eyes were a bit red, he tenderly kissed the corner of his eye, “Nao Nao, it’s not that I mistook you for someone else, but that you mistook yourself for someone else.”
His movements were gentle, slowly pushing in, as he continued to say, “I only love one person, and I will only make love with one person.”
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