Chapter 34
Editor: Princess
Yu Pei didn’t know how to answer this question for a moment.
He and Luo Changzhou stood beneath a jacaranda tree outside the cafeteria, where several fallen crimson petals lay scattered at their feet. Countless students hurried past them toward their classrooms, occasionally glancing back with curiosity before quickly moving on. It seemed as though he and Luo Changzhou were isolated in a quiet space where the silence was so profound that he could hear his own heartbeat pounding against his eardrums rhythmically, along with the speculation that he didn’t dare even think about.
“Ah Pei—!” Gu Zheng, who had already walked some distance away, waved when he noticed that the two of them hadn’t followed and called out to him.
Luo Changzhou didn’t pressure Yu Pei to answer his question. He said nothing, placing the chocolate bread he had already unwrapped into Yu Pei’s hands and said softly, “Let’s go.”
Yu Pei followed in a daze, mechanically chewing the bread in his hands.
On the way back, perhaps because his mouth was stuffed with snacks, Gu Zheng didn’t pull Yu Pei into conversation again, so all three of them walked toward the classroom quietly.
“By the way, Ah Pei, I won’t be going home with you after school today.” Gu Zheng suddenly told Yu Pei halfway there. “I won’t be going with you in the future either. We’ll just leave together in the morning, because I need to go out and… hehe, you understand.”
Gu Zheng raised his eyebrows and gave Yu Pei a knowing look that needed no words: “I’ll take a taxi home by myself in the evening. And once my sports car arrives in a few days, I’ll drive myself.”
If Gu Zheng hadn’t mentioned this, Yu Pei would have almost forgotten that he walked partway with Luo Changzhou after school each day before they separated. If Gu Zheng really walked with them, it might be inconvenient, but now that Gu Zheng was going back on his own, it was actually better.
So he nodded and said, “Okay.”
Just before entering the classroom, Yu Pei finally couldn’t hold back, and without regard for Gu Zheng being nearby, he called out to Luo Changzhou and asked, “Changzhou… what you said this morning about wanting to tell me something. What exactly was it?”
Luo Changzhou lifted his eyes, looked at him silently for a moment, then spoke in a low voice: “After school, I’ll take you somewhere, and then I’ll tell you.”
Yu Pei said, “After school…”
“Mm.” Luo Changzhou asked him, “Are you free?”
“Yes.” How could he not be free? He had a feeling that whatever Luo Changzhou wanted to tell him had to be something extremely important, something he absolutely couldn’t miss.
Luo Changzhou smiled slightly: “Then I’ll tell you after school.”
Yu Pei returned to his seat in a daze. During English class, Teacher Tian Mi was lecturing enthusiastically at the front. However even though it was currently his favorite subject, he didn’t absorb much of what she said because his mind was completely occupied with thoughts of Luo Changzhou.
People were like this. The more they tried not to think about something, the more it took root in the depths of their minds, forcing them to be unable to ignore it.
Although he kept telling himself that what Luo Changzhou wanted to tell him could be anything in this world, but absolutely couldn’t be that he liked him, he still couldn’t deny that this was exactly what he most anticipated and hoped for.
From childhood until now, he had never considered himself an unfortunate person because he didn’t worry about food or clothing, his parents were alive, and he had an older brother as the pillar of the family. He didn’t need to worry about anything at home. Such a perfect family background shouldn’t have any regrets.
Yet he had never felt lucky either. He wanted his father’s attention, his mother’s affection, his brother’s care, friendly relationships with his classmates, and his teachers’ trust and understanding. However, these seemingly ordinary things that should be easily obtained were beyond his reach. The more he wanted them, the more they moved away from him, growing increasingly distant.
Until he met Luo Changzhou.
Yu Pei felt that being able to meet Luo Changzhou, becoming good friends with him, and even being able to like him silently was already his greatest fortune.
Now he could sit so close to Luo Changzhou, less than half a meter apart. He only needed to move his arm slightly to be able to touch Luo Changzhou’s elbow through their thin school uniforms. And if he were a bit luckier, he might even sense the warmth from Luo Changzhou’s body—a warmth he had never experienced before, warm enough to move him to tears.
So he was already fortunate enough and shouldn’t, couldn’t wish for anything more.
He shifted his gaze away. Not to Tian Mi, not to the blackboard, not even keeping Luo Changzhou in his peripheral vision. He looked out the window at the world beyond. Since it was class time, there wasn’t a single wandering figure on campus, only solitary jacaranda trees standing by the roadside, occasionally dropping petals in the breeze. He watched with such focus and seriousness, as if that were his world, lonely with only himself.
At noon the wind rose, and cool air rushed in from the window, hitting Yu Pei’s face coldly and making his eyes sting. He blinked, and disobedient tears slid down his cheeks. When the wind blew across his tear-dampened skin, despite this being what should have been hot summer, Yu Pei felt painfully cold.
He hadn’t expected his self-control over tears to be so poor, nor had he realized how deeply he liked Luo Changzhou. Liked him so much that just one sentence could make him imagine so many things, liked him so much that merely thinking Luo Changzhou might not like him back made his recently brightened life lose all color and suddenly turn gray.
Yu Pei maintained this position until class ended.
He never lifted his hand to wipe the tears from his face, but those traces had long since dried in the wind. After the bell rang, he heard Luo Changzhou call from behind him: “Ah Pei.”
Yu Pei didn’t turn around. He was afraid that his eyes were still red and afraid that Luo Changzhou would notice, so he quickly took a deep breath and forced his voice to sound normal: “What is it?”
Luo Changzhou asked him, “Why were you staring out the window the whole time?”
“I was looking at the blackboard throughout class and my eyes hurt a bit.” Yu Pei said, his hands that were hidden in his sleeves constantly scratching his palms. “So I wanted to look at some plants to relax my eyes.”
“You’re lying to me.” Luo Changzhou exposed his lie mercilessly. “You’ve been looking out there since class started.”
“If you’re wondering how I know.” Luo Changzhou didn’t even give him room to argue back, “it’s because I wasn’t looking at the blackboard during class either. I was watching you the whole time, so I know.”
Hearing these words from Luo Changzhou, Yu Pei’s vision, which had finally cleared, began to blur again. He suddenly felt so aggrieved, aggrieved that Luo Changzhou would say such things to him. He would misunderstand, would misunderstand that Luo Changzhou liked him too, and then he wouldn’t be able to suppress his desire to tell Luo Changzhou that he liked him back.
But for him, confession was like a trial, and the outcome depended entirely on Luo Changzhou alone. He was afraid that the trial’s result would be something he couldn’t accept, so he would avoid it, avoid the coming of that day, wanting to postpone that moment indefinitely.
“Ah Pei? What’s wrong?” Seeing that he still wouldn’t turn around, Luo Changzhou placed his hand on his shoulder and applied gentle pressure, trying to make him turn his head.
Yu Pei turned around but kept his head lowered, refusing to look into Luo Changzhou’s eyes. However, he knew his reddened eyes had definitely been exposed, so he said hoarsely, “I… I’m feeling a bit unwell.”
Then after saying this, he, like Gu Zheng who had long been asleep at his back desk, raised his arms and laid his head down on the desk.
Luo Changzhou called his name softly again: “Ah Pei…”
Yu Pei replied in a muffled voice, “Changzhou, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine after resting for a while.”
The last class was Chinese. He listened to Teacher Huang’s aged voice coming from the blackboard, staring at his knees with open eyes. He never fell asleep or raised his head until the dismissal bell rang, and only then did he lift his head from the desk.
“These are notes from the previous class. I wrote them all for you.” Seeing him sit up, Luo Changzhou handed him a notebook.
The notebook was brand new, deep blue with Yu Pei’s name written on the cover in Luo Changzhou’s clear, strong handwriting. Yu Pei reached out to take the notebook, feeling incredibly guilty. He anxiously wanted to apologize to Luo Changzhou: “Changzhou, I’m sor—”
However, before he could finish, Luo Changzhou chuckled softly and reached out to poke his forehead with one finger, looking at him with focused, gentle eyes: “You have marks on your forehead from sleeping.”
Yu Pei touched his forehead in a daze. The surface was indeed uneven, probably marks pressed by his clothes.
“Is school over?” Gu Zheng at the back desk finally woke up. His sleeping posture had been truly unrestrained that even after getting up, his cheeks and forehead bore large red pressure marks, but even so, he still remained handsome.
“Ah Pei, I’m leaving first! See you this afternoon!” Seeing their classmates heading out, Gu Zheng’s drowsiness dissipated immediately. After throwing out this sentence, he grabbed his already-packed bag and ran outside.
Before Yu Pei could respond, Gu Zheng had run so far that even his shadow was invisible.
“Ah Pei, can you skip going home for lunch today?” While helping Yu Pei organize the scattered books on his desk as usual, Luo Changzhou asked him.
Yu Pei knew Luo Changzhou was probably finally going to tell him that very important thing, so he nodded and said, “Okay, I’ll call Uncle Zhang.”
After Yu Pei finished calling Zhang Geng, he sent a text message to Uncle Zhuang, telling him not to wait for him and Gu Zheng at lunch since neither of them would be going home to eat.
Unlike when Yu Pei’s mother was around before, Uncle Zhuang and Yu Qing gave Yu Pei a very free lifestyle. They never interfered with his affairs or asked too many questions, only saying to be careful on the road and to call home if anything happened.
“Are you ready?” Seeing Yu Pei put down his phone, Luo Changzhou asked him.
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go.”
Yu Pei wanted to get his backpack, but Luo Changzhou was quicker and picked it up for him, saying, “Aren’t you feeling unwell? I’ll carry it for you.”
“I…” Yu Pei kept his head lowered, his voice very soft, “I’m actually not unwell…”
“Don’t overthink things.” Luo Changzhou reached out to smooth the hair by Yu Pei’s ear. Seeing Yu Pei’s sad appearance all morning, he really wanted to just straightforwardly say those words now, but there were still many classmates in the classroom who hadn’t left yet, so he could only say this much.