After covering Qi Chang’an for nearly an hour and finally warming him up a little, Xu Luoyang sighed inwardly. He had unlocked another skill – a human-shaped treasure warmer – and he didn’t need to be recharged!
The tense string in his heart relaxing a little, he yawned quietly and followed suit as he also fell asleep. However, because he was still worried about Qi Chang’an, he didn’t sleep deeply, so he woke up when he heard a movement.
Xu Luoyang immediately opened his eyes and saw Qi Chang’an curled up in a ball, his head banging unconsciously against the board of the bed with a dull ‘thud’. Blood dripped from his already crusted lips, appearing shockingly on his pale skin.
Feeling his heart being torn apart, Xu Luoyang reached out and took him back into his arms, holding him tightly, his heart racing and at a loss for words. His voice shaking, he asked, “Chang’an, are you in pain again? Do you want some more medicine? Should I get… hot water for you? Does drinking hot water help? Or anything else?”
How on earth can I make it less uncomfortable for you?
At this moment, he was even thinking that if Qi Chang’an needed to suck his blood to ease the pain, he would be willing.
More than a year ago, he coincidentally learned of Qi Chang’an’s identity as a demon, and his eyes were like a brand that he couldn’t help but remember. When he saw Qi Chang’an again for the second time over a year later, his eyes had turned pure black and he appeared polite and distant when interacting with people.
After that, they ate and lived together and became good friends. He slowly realised that Qi Chang’an was very dedicated, introverted and gentle and whenever he stood in a crowd, he was always a dazzling presence.
Not as he was now, tormented by pain, weak, wretched and helpless.
Time seemed to be stretched out indefinitely as the person in his arms convulsed in pain again and again, cold sweat cascading out and soaking his shirt. But it was as if he had become accustomed to the pain as he held back from groaning. To prevent him from hurting his lips and tongue again, Xu Luoyang simply put his fingers between his teeth and let him bite.
But after he did this, even if he didn’t realise it, Qi Chang’an didn’t bite down any harder.
As if after a long battle, when he noticed that Qi Chang’an’s breathing slowly became steady, Xu Luoyang suddenly relaxed and a layer of sweat broke out on his own back.
After almost a minute, Qi Chang’an opened his eyes and looked at Xu Luoyang, who was close at hand and was about to thank him when he heard him say with some surprise, “Chang’an, your eyes-“
Xu Luoyang had noticed something was wrong before; compared to his left eye, Qi Chang’an’s right eye was clearly unfocused and when he looked at him, he would even subconsciously tilt his head slightly to the right, making his right eye look like he was blind when he looked with his left eye.
And once again, a ring of cobalt blue was faintly visible around the pupil if his right eye.
Once he realised this, he recalled the time in Qinling Town when Qi Chang’an had fainted in his room and seemed to have the same symptoms.
So, every time he had an attack, Qi Chang’an’s right eye would be temporarily blinded? That was why he was very restless and would be awakened at the slightest movement? Thinking of this, it was like a dull knife had been stabbed into his heart.
Immediately realising what Xu Luoyang was referring to, Qi Chang’an instinctively squeezed his eyes shut, not daring to open them.
He was suddenly afraid – if Xu Luoyang asked him why he had suddenly lost the sight in his right eye, why his stomach hurt so badly, or, why he insisted on not going to the hospital, why he only took the medicine he had brought with him, how should he answer?
He didn’t want to lie to him, but he couldn’t tell him that it was because from the time he was a child, his mother had joined forces with his family doctor to say that he was very sick and needed extensive medication, forbidding him to get out of bed, not allowing him to walk and to only use a wheelchair, making him eat through a nasal feeding tube and cutting out a third of his stomach…..
During those undignified days, he was confined to a hospital bed, his nervous and immune systems destroyed by various drugs, his healthy organ tissues cut out with a scalpel and he was cut off from the world by his own mother.
He couldn’t talk about it and he didn’t even want anyone to know about this dark past, especially Xu Luoyang.
Xu Luoyang’s palm patted Qi Chang’an’s back gently with a soothing touch – he had learnt his lesson from last time so he moved his hand very gently, afraid that using a little more force would break Qi Chang’an apart.
“I….. I won’t ask much. Everyone has little secrets that they can’t tell.” Xu Luoyang put himself in his shoes and carefully organized his words, “To me, you are Qi Chang’an, no matter who you used to be, where you lived and what you did, I know that you are the co-actor I spent more than a month with, that Ah Hui and Xi An that people can’t take their eyes off, that actor who gives a lot for his role, the person who jumped into the lake to save me from the paws of the dog and sent me to safety, the person who gave me a peace clasp and said that if I wasn’t there, he’d quit and the Chang’an who helped me understand the role.”
Feeling the tense person in his arms relax a little, Xu Luoyang knew that he had guessed right. He suppressed the sigh, sourness and worry in his heart and continued slowly, “Just like you will never believe all those news and reports about me on the internet, I also think that the you I know, is the most real you.”
So don’t be afraid.
Qi Chang’an lifted his head, his gaze deep. His pale lips moved as he said softly, “Thank you.” He gasped for a few seconds, then his voice became firm, “Later, if I can,” if I have enough courage to face the past, “I’ll tell you everything.”
“Hmm.” Xu Luoyang pulled out two pieces of tissue from the bedside table and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, smiling slightly, “Then I’ll wait.”
Nodding, Qi Chang’an closed his eyes again in exhaustion and passed out again within a few minutes.
Looking at his frown that had finally loosened, Xu Luoyang fell into contemplation – keeping a secret for too long would be too much for people to bear.
So, if one day, Qi Chang’an told him the truth that he was a demon, should he say that he actually knew it, or should he put on a masterful performance, showing a series of ‘shocked – hard to accept – torn – then finally accepting that his best friend was a demon’?
This was too hard to figure out!
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