My outside expression is different from my inner expression

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Chapter 4.2

“How can someone of your caliber be in charge of the Li family ……”

“Shut up!” Li Qingzhou said with a gloomy look in his eyes.

His voice wasn’t loud, but it managed to make Li Hongjie shut up, and he couldn’t help but take a step backwards with his left foot.

As if he felt that this was too humiliating, Li Hongjie reluctantly stood still again.

Li Qingzhou said sarcastically, “How can you still have the face to live when you can’t even compare to a disabled person?”

“If I’m a scourge, the first I would curse to death is you.

“You’re a waste of food and air when you’re alive, a waste of land when you’re dead and a waste of money when you’re half dead.”

Li Hongjie boiled with rage, speechless.

Usually, when he hurled such insults, Li Qingzhou would only give him a sorrowful stare before turning his wheelchair away.

It wasn’t like now ……

Li Hongjie couldn’t help but stand stiff in place.

Li Qingzhou didn’t bother to pay any more attention to him and turned his wheelchair to run over Li Hongjie’s feet, soon shutting out Li Hongjie’s cries of pain.


His room in the old Li mansion was always cleaned and left in its original state.

But because it hadn’t been occupied for so long, the room looked a little cold, especially when the sunlight outside the window couldn’t dispel the loneliness that seemed to permeate the room. ……

Li Qingzhou locked the door and looked around before heading straight for the bookcase standing against the wall.

The bookcase had a row of drawers at the bottom right.

Li Qingzhou took out the key he had been carrying and opened the top locked drawer of the bookcase.

  • A photo album was kept in it with great care.

He took the album out and placed it on his lap, flipping it open.

The album contained pictures of the whole family, but also pictures of Li Qingzhou alone with his parents and with his sister and brother. ……

Most of the pictures were taken in the hospital and a few in the old house.

These pictures were a reminder of the past.

-Father and Mother Li were smiling widely, while he himself had a slightly stiff although he was trying hard to lift the corners of his mouth up and his sister and brother, who were standing together had a somewhat formal expression…….

This was when Li Qingzhou was first brought back to Xicheng by his parents and when he had been told that his leg would never heal again.

He had only just been reunited with his parents and family and they were slowly getting along with each other and trying to accept each other.

Li Qingzhou’s heart had been dammed up, waiting for the day when it would be gradually warmed and disintegrated by affection.

However the shadow of a lifelong disability loomed large over Li Qingzhou’s head and the Li family’s environs had been at odds with the environment he used to live in. ……

This made him more and more gloomy, sensitive, even inferior, causing the repressed, resistant and contradictory emotions to build up every moment.

Finally, when Li Qingzhou felt a great difference, he burst out.

-That had been the first time Li Qingzhou had had an argument with his parents.

Afterwards, he left the Li family home alone.

He wanted to go back to Licheng, to the orphanage, but where could a man with a broken leg go?

Li Qingzhou had looked around in the crowded streets – his palms red from the long hours of turning the wheelchair and his knees and trouser legs visibly marked with dust.

He fell on a bumpy path and struggled for a long time before being helped up by a random passer-by. ……

At that moment, a myriad of emotions, including shame, embarrassment and pain, swarmed over him.

Li Qingzhou’s throat seemed to be constricted, and he could hardly breathe.

He thought the day’s gloom was all here, until …… Father and Mother Li got into a car accident right in front of his eyes.

They rescue procedure didn’t work, so they died.

This was the only sentence in the original book.

But the reality remained in Li Qingzhou’s memory, etched into the marrow of his bones.

-That day seemed to be reflected in an old black and white picture of a moment, full of rainy sadness and despair, not to be looked at or touched. ……

Li Qingzhou stroked the photo album of his parents and sighed softly.

From then on, Li Qingzhou never mentioned returning to Licheng again.

He entered Xicheng High School under the arrangement of Old Master Li and later entered Yanjing University, where he graduated with a skip of a level.

Li Qingzhou’s intelligence was recognized by Old Master Li, who personally taught him how to handle some of the company’s affairs when he first entered university.

Li Qingzhou did very well, and after he became familiar with the company, he began to get to the heart of the Li family’s business.

Then he moved out of the Li family home as soon as he was able to support himself.

Strictly speaking, Li Qingzhou spent very little time with his two younger siblings, except for the most frequent interaction with Old Master Li Zi.

But that wasn’t to say that Li Qingzhou didn’t love them.

He just didn’t know how to reign in his spikes – he was afraid of hurting them, and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to afford the consequences.

Li Qingzhou stroked the dull, dull pain in his chest where his heart was.

“Ai, I’m so pitiful.”

Unable to hold back, Li Qingzhou wiped the corners of his eyes with two fingers pinching the sleeve of his left hand, before he lifted the photo album in his lap with both hands and kissed his grandfather, parents, sister and brother one by one.

mua, mua mua mua……

After kissing them, Li Qingzhou placed the album in a prominent place.

The back of the album wasn’t yet full and was blank.

Mother Li had been disappointed that there were no pictures of him from his childhood and had tried to make up for it the moment she found him, only to have it become a regret forever.

“It won’t be a regret, I’ll do it for you.” Li Qingzhou said softly.

The sun was still shining brightly outside the window, but the room felt like it had finally been filled with warmth.

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3 thoughts on “My outside expression is different from my inner expression

  1. I love that the MC is not treating this new world as a book. Although this world will be his, seeing him treating his family as his makes me feel warm because apart from the others who was looking for trouble, the others genuinely care for him💜

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