I hugged and lifted a dress that was spread out nicely on the bed, as if a servant had prepared it for me.
It was a thick winter dress made of green velvet that matched the yellow-green velvet ribbon that tied my fine brown hair in a high knot.
I was so excited that I didn’t even feel the cold, but when I hugged the thick dress, beautifully embroidered with gold thread, it quickly dawned on me how lightly I was dressed now.
I had been running in all directions in a light negligee that I had gone to sleep in.
Now I understood why my nanny had always walked around carrying my twelve-year-old self in her arms.
I had always been sensitive to the cold.
I shivered, crossed my legs and hurriedly buried my face in the dress.
A normal noblewoman would have waited with a haughty look on her face for a maid to dress her, but because of my father’s frugal nature, I never even had a personal maid.
My nanny, who had returned with the water to wash my hands, reached out to help me, but I had changed before she could reach me.
“Oh, sweetheart. When did you learn how to wear a dress by yourself?”
“I’m twelve years old now!”
It wasn’t until I was fourteen, two years from now, that I learned to change my clothes by myself without the help of my nanny.
Of course, I thought to myself, I could have done it before that, but that was the age at which her help was clearly no longer needed.
But I had lifted my nose in the air as if I were thus independent, shrugging as I looked at my startled nanny.
“I’m grown up now.”
“Yes, you are. You’re all grown up now, young miss.”
I thought she would be proud of me and full of joy that I could dress myself, but she looked very sad at this moment.
She still smiled at me with the same, or perhaps an even more regretful look on her face.
I was so taken aback by her half-hearted smile that I opened my arms to her.
“I’m cold. Hug me.”
Despite the high-handedness of my words, my nanny seemed touched by my selfishness and arrogance.
As soon as she reached out to hug me without hesitation, I untied my hair which I had tied up in a bun by myself.
“Now that I’m dressed, hurry up and brush my hair and put on my shoes.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I thought you said you’re all grown up now.”
“Wipe my face too.”
“Just for today, because it’s your birthday.”
My nanny sniffed as she sat me down in front of the dressing table with a look on her face that said she was pressed, but I spotted a hint of life on her face.
As Lohan and I grew older, our nanny couldn’t hide her bitterness.
But we wanted to grow up as quickly as possible, as children often dreamed.
The more our father emphasized to us the example and duties of the nobility, the more I hoped that time would pass quickly and I would become an entirely independent lady.
But now I was inadvertently reminded of the fact that my nanny wouldn’t be able to be by my side once I grew older.
“Would you like me to braid your hair for you?”
“Yes. You make it prettier than when Dorota does it.”
It was intended to make her feel better, but it wasn’t a lie.
Dorota couldn’t handle my fine hair and sometimes made a mess of it.
I stole a look at the mirror and laughed at my nanny who looked proud after hearing something that would make Dorata disappointed if she had heard.
“Nanny, when I’m older, you’ll have to come visit me every day, even if you decide to go back to your hometown.”
My nanny laughed a little when she heard this.
I closed my eyes softly, listening to her laughter spreading softly in the room.
I was in a good mood with her hands brushing down my hair neatly.
It had been so long since she had touched my hair.
My nanny went back to Cohen, her hometown the year I turned fifteen, and died the following year in a carriage accident.
I frowned, making up my mind to keep her away from the vicinity of a carriage when that time came.
My nanny replied belatedly, “You won’t be in the Count’s residence with me when the time comes.”
I laughed impishly because I knew I wasn’t able to get married even when I was eighteen.
The County of Beloit was a respected family, but despite their fame, no marriage proposals had come to our residence.
Everyone thought it was strange that there was no family that wanted to be close to Beloit through me.
Even thinking about it now, it made no sense, and was even a little humiliating.
Lohan was a boy who was a year younger than me – who would have married a little later than most women – had been forced to meet various families and various women for all kinds of reasons since he was about fifteen, while I was introduced to a baron from a remote countryside whose name I had never even heard of.
I was quite ordinary.
I was the daughter of the honorable Count of Beloit, who was held in the highest esteem by the people of his domain and the nobility.
I was the only girl in a family full of sons.
I had no physical problems, but my personality was absolutely unremarkable, except for my temper.
My dull and passive personality was similar to my father’s, was obviously not popular with other men, but such a trivial point shouldn’t be an issue in the mix of noble families in the first place.
The title ‘Countess of Beloit’, was enough of a façade to cover it up.
Because most of the noble ladies who grew up selfishly didn’t have good characters.